This one is HARD. Because often people who are *supposed* to love and support us unconditionally, like family, are some of the *least* supportive.
The problem is that as we grow into adulthood, we also often maintain unhealthy, sometimes codependent relationships with our family when we really need to break free from that.
Just because you were born into the family doesn’t mean those people always have your best interest at heart. AND THAT IS SO HARD TO SWALLOW. It’s not always because anyone has bad intentions, but it is often because their own mindset or view of the world isn’t the same positive, growth-oriented one that yours is. It’s fixed, fear-based, and filled with expectations to be placed upon you that you to which may never have agreed. Or you did, and now you changed your mind and they can’t handle that change.
You are fortunate to have this growth-change-becoming better outlook because that’s how you can become the best version of yourself in the world. A version of yourself who shows up for yourself and others with joy, kindness, vibrancy, and generosity of spirit.
I know this is a tough conversation you need to have with yourself, but I want you to ask yourself if the people you allow to be closest to you are also those who BELIEVE IN YOU. And, do you believe in yourself? If not, step 1 is to distance yourself from people who are negative, unsupportive, toxic, fear-based-thinkers. This is the only way to walk towards the life you are meant to live.
Do you believe in yourself? Are you surrounding yourself only with people who also believe in you?
Let me know in the comments below!
Comments 7
Diane
This is so true…over the past several years I have done just that. I have told myself that no matter who it is family or friends do not deserve having a person like me in their lives that dont support me and love me for me. I have told myself that GOD does not like ugly and I refuse to waste any of my breath on ugly no matter if they are friends or family. It has been the hardest thing I have done but the most rewarding. They are like a cancer and will destroy you self worth as well as your relationships with people who believe in you!!
Thanks for always being so motivating!!
Jeanne
Absolutely agree with this Diane. I’m reading a book called Mindset Doesn’t Work, and this post reminded of some of the words from it. A positive mindset runs out very quick, it’s like a muscle that becomes fatigued. It’s your environment that is everything. Positive people in your life lift you up, people who are striving for success help you do the same. If you surround yourself with people on a path that doesn’t suit you (through no fault of their own sometimes) then it’s time to make some changes. A line that is thrown about a lot is, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. How true though? I’m choosing wisely 😉
Thanks Diane! Inspiring as ever
Karen
This resonates with me SO much. Thank you for so boldly sharing.
Wow, yes, this very much resonants for me in so many ways. I do see it but the walk away is difficult.
Thank you for all the inspirational quotes these last few days. I feel like all or most ring true. 🙂
Hi! Yes I totally hear you on this post.
I have a much better relationship with my family now. But as kid and young college age’adult’ I truly felt much guilt and responsibility to my family. I grew up in. A drug addicted household, until my Grandparents took us in. So there was instability there, but then being surronded by many aunt’s uncle’s and cousins with disordered eating patterns started affecting me greatly. My aunt grew up on weight watchers and is still on it at 65. She would do things like obsess over food, then share her love by making delicious cookies and telling you ‘have one have one! ‘then when you did she’d tell you how fattening and awful the damn Cookie’s we’re for you. Yikes.
Now as an NTP it’s still hard to watch she and other family members, order out at restaurants. Restriction and shaming is all that I see.
I take breaks from my family for my mental health bc when I don’t I notice my self confidence slipping.
Thanks for posting Diane!
You definitely hit a string today. I have surrounded myself with those that are kind, loving, and supportive. I have distanced myself from all of my birth family because our lifestyle and attitudes don’t line up and actually causes discord when we are together. I’m a wife to a wonderful godly husband, a loving mom, and compassionate nurse. I pray my children always know that no matter what, we will always love them and seek the best blessings for them. I’m thankful I broke the cycle and chose a better life for myself and family.
Hi yes I believe in myself 100 percent, but I’m 50 and I have learnt this. As we grow we learn a lot of valuable lessons. Diane you are going to help many woman with this project.