Podcast Episode #327: Mindset Evolution and the Expectation of Perfection

Topics

1. News and updates from Diane & Liz [2:13]
2. How we're spending the holiday [6:51]
3. Last night's dinner [9:07]
4. Certified B Corporation [12:55]
5. Listener question: mindset change [14:35]
6. In response to the expectation of perfection [24:14]
7. NTA conference class [40:22]
8. What we're listening to [41:19]

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You’re listening to the Balanced Bites podcast episode 327.

Diane Sanfilippo: Welcome to the Balanced Bites podcast. I’m Diane; a certified nutrition consultant, and the New York Times bestselling author of Practical Paleo and the new book, The 21-Day Sugar Detox Daily Guide. I live in San Francisco with my husband and fur kids.

Liz Wolfe: I’m Liz; a nutritional therapy practitioner, and author of the Wall Street Journal best-seller Eat the Yolks; The Purely Primal Skincare Guide; and the online program Baby Making and Beyond. I live on a farm in the mystical land of the Midwest, outside of Kansas City.

We’re the co-creators of the Balanced Bites Master Class, and we’ve been bringing you this award-winning podcast for more than 6 years. We’re here to share our take on modern paleo living, answer your questions, and chat with leading health and wellness experts. Enjoy this week’s episode, and submit your questions at http://blog.balancedbites.com or watch the Balanced Bites podcast Instagram account for our weekly calls for questions. You can ask us anything in the comments.

Remember our disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only, and are not to be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Before we get started, let’s hear from one of our sponsors.

Diane Sanfilippo: Primally Pure Skincare is sponsoring this episode of the Balanced Bites podcast. Primally Pure’s founder, Bethany, believes that fewer is better when it comes to ingredients. She and her team formulate products using simple, real ingredients derived from nature for maximum potency and purity.

At www.primallypure.com, you’ll find their newly reformulated bestselling line of natural deodorants, including their amazing and incredibly effective new charcoal deodorant. You’ll also find my favorite Primally Pure product, dry shampoo, and Liz’s favorite, the Everything Spray.

As a special bonus for you, Primally Pure is offering a free lip balm with your first purchase of one item or more. Simply add a lip balm to your cart along with any one item, and use the code “balancedbites” during checkout to receive one of their lip balms for free with your order. Head to www.primallypure.com and check out their range of safe and effective all natural skincare products.

1. News and updates from Diane & Liz [2:13]

Liz Wolfe: Alright! So, Diane, what’s up with you?

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, I guess the same thing is up last week to this week, because I’m still letting everybody know about tour dates. I’m just going to rattle off a bunch of cities that I’ll be in in the coming weeks for you guys all throughout the month of January, and also heading into February. San Francisco, Orange County, Montclair, New Jersey, Philadelphia area; Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Washington D.C., Atlanta, Nashville, Kansas City, Boulder, Denver, Sacramento, Phoenix, Dallas, Austin, Houston, and Salt Lake City. And then there will be Pacific-Northwest; Portland, Seattle, and Tacoma. So if you or a friend is near any of those cities, I would absolutely love to see your smiling face there. Come on out, grab a copy of my new book, 21-Day Sugar Detox Daily Guide, which I’m sure in an upcoming episode I’ll talk a little bit more about so you guys can hear more on that. But I think it will just be a really fun time. Events are always super fun. You get to be surrounded by like-minded people. There will be some fun goodies and swag and we’ll chat and take pictures and just have a great time. So I hope to see you guys there at an upcoming event.

Don’t forget, you can get some preorder goodies. Go to www.21DaySugarDetox.com/preorder for those. And, what else? My Healthy for the Holidays Facebook group is still going strong. So you can go actually to www.21DaySugarDetox.com/H4H (Healthy for the Holidays). It’s kind of like a pre-sugar detox idea of a group. We knew that over the holidays, not everybody wanted to be doing a sugar detox. But I wanted to have a place for us to all talk about staying healthy, and grounded, and balanced. So www.21DaySugarDetox.com/h4h. Or you can just search Facebook and find it. Or link to it from our show notes.

What’s going up? What’s going on. What’s going up, what’s going down, {laughs} over in Kansas City?

Liz Wolfe: {laughs} Well, come see both of us in Kansas City. You and me. I will be there on your Kansas City tour stop.

Diane Sanfilippo: Huzzah!

Liz Wolfe: Yay! Come see us! Are you going to come to my house this time, or no?

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Am I? I guess I didn’t go to your house.

Liz Wolfe: I guess I should invite you.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah, I don’t think you invited me. I guess it depends on the timing. I literally am like, a city a day on this tour. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I hope my whole body doesn’t just shut down. But if I have a minute, absolutely.

Liz Wolfe: I seriously doubt you will, since it’s about an hour and a half drive from the airport. But look, open invitation. Just in case it fits in. Open invitation, always. We’ll put you to work. Do you babysit? Never mind. Don’t answer that question.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughing}

Liz Wolfe: So other than that, the only thing that’s up with me is I started watching Stranger Things, because my husband is home for; you know, a couple of days, here and there. And we started watching Stranger Things on Netflix. You’ve watched that, right?

Diane Sanfilippo: We have. And we just finished the second part. I’m so upset that we finished it.

Liz Wolfe: Don’t tell me anything.

Diane Sanfilippo: I won’t.

Liz Wolfe: Ugh. OK, so now my favorite thing to do. And mind you, I’ve only watched maybe four episodes of the first season. My favorite thing to do now is my Winona Ryder as the, playing the part of the incredibly anxious cigarette smoking mother. {laughs} With my hands are shaking all the time and I’m wondering where my kid is and I’m losing my mind! That’s my favorite thing. I can’t take it. I literally can’t take her performance right now. I can’t. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: It’s amazing and crazy. I’m also very much like; I’m very much like, you go Glen Coco. You go Winona Ryder. Being part of the culture Zeitgeist in Reality Bites and now in Stranger Things; I’m like, don’t call it a comeback! I don’t know. {laughs} I’m really happy for her.

Liz Wolfe: Call it a never left. {laughs} I just think it’s funny. She’s really doing her darndest. She’s really acting the crap out of this role. But other than that, I’m really intrigued and enjoying it. I think it’s a cool show. Love how it’s set in the 80s, even though sometimes I feel like that whole decade should be just put to the side. I’m really more into the 90s than I am the 80s. Big fan of the 90s.

2. How we’re spending the holidays [6:51]

Liz Wolfe: Alright. We’re going to call this next segment, how you're spending the holidays. Diane, what are you doing over the holidays?

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, I think. {laughs} As a follow-up to how long my, “What’s up with you” always is each week, and knowing that my “What’s up with me” is mostly future anticipation of things that will be up with me next month, around the holidays we’re just kind of lying low. There’s a chance my sister is going to be in town from London, so I might be spending a little bit of family time in that regard. But for the most part, we’re just kind of hanging out.

We do an annual brunch party at our house, because I like for everyone to be out of my house before dinner time. {laughs} I don’t want anyone here late. I’m just such a; I don’t know, whatever. Old lady emoji, icon thing. But mostly just hanging out, laying low, getting read to be gone and on the road for about four weeks. So really not doing much of anything. Just kind of nesting and chilling out. What are you guys up to? Are you traveling? What’s going on.

Liz Wolfe: We are. We’re doing some holiday travel. Yep. We will be in Pennsylvania for a week during the month of December. You know, that’s kind of; I’m really excited to see family but I talked in the previous episode about how there are a couple of things I wish I had said no to. I know how happy we’re making the family going to visit them.

But I’m just like; man. I think it would have been reasonable for, at this stage of our lives, just to ask people to continue to come to us. Because it is so hard to travel with a kid, let alone the fact that you can anticipate the fact that the kid picks up some kind of virus or something on the plane rides or in the airport or something. It’s like, delaying our potty situation. It’s just going to be tough, and stressful.

But I also recognize that I need to make the best of it, and realize that this is not the hardest thing that I have ever done or will ever do. And it’s going to be great once we get there. I’m really, really excited to see our family out there and just kind of check out a little bit. It will be great.

3. Last night’s dinner [9:07]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright. Let’s jump into a little segment we’re going to call last night’s dinner. {laughs} What did you have for dinner last night, Liz?

Liz Wolfe: I had a really basic dinner. Kind of a cop out dinner. I had spinach and scrambled eggs and some butter and salt on top. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: That’s; scrambled eggs are like my comfort food. If I’m super hungry and there’s nothing around that I want to eat, scrambled eggs with ketchup on top would be my go-to.

Liz Wolfe: Yes.

Diane Sanfilippo: So that doesn’t sound bad to me. That sounds pretty good. Really satisfying.

Liz Wolfe: Well, it was just fast. And I was proud of myself for getting some spinach in there. You know; we have these beautiful chickens laying us gorgeous eggs. They haven’t tapered off entirely for the year yet, so. We’re just enjoying it while we can.

Diane Sanfilippo: Sounds good.

Liz Wolfe: What did you have?

Diane Sanfilippo: We had, so our on-repeat salad has been arugula with a balsamic vinaigrette that I’ve made that I recently posted the recipe for over on Instagram. And it’s in the new 21-Day Sugar Detox book, also. It’s arugula with this dressing, and then we always top it with pine nuts, because we got a huge bag of them at Costco. And normally we’re so precious with pine nuts; but it’s like we have a huge bag of pine nuts. And then this Humboldt Fog cheese, which is like a blue cheese but it’s goat milk. And we had it with steak last night. But often we do a pork chop. It’s just kind of our favorite dinner. Super easy. We only have to cook the protein, and get to throw the rest of it together. So that’s kind of a major go-to. That could have been last night’s dinner, many, many nights. So that’s a big one we’ve been doing a lot. So, you know, greens and then some cooked animal protein. Pretty much the same, Liz. It’s the same meal. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Yeah, except my meal didn’t include the phrase Humboldt Fog cheese with balsamic dressing. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughing}

Liz Wolfe: Oh lord. Our lives are so different. I do hope; I think it’s going to take a few generations. But I hope over time; I cook more than my mom cooked. I mean, my mom, god love her, doesn’t even know how to use salt. I feel like I bought her her first salt.

Diane Sanfilippo: No, my mom doesn’t know how to use salt either. Cooking doesn’t ….

Liz Wolfe: Well that might be generational, too.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah, I think it might be.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. But herbs, no herbs. There’s no seasoning whatsoever. Maybe some Worcestershire sauce. I cook a little more than she did, and hopefully my daughter will cook a little more than I did, and maybe 10 to 12 generations down the line we will have a skirt steak seasoned with coffee barbecue over arugula salad with Humboldt Fog cheese and balsamic dressing.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughing}

Liz Wolfe: Which took my entire breath of air in my lungs to say. But that’s great, friend.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, I mean, I feel like I feel bad about it. But it’s like my thing. That’s my hobby.

Liz Wolfe: No, it’s amazing. I love it. I’m jealous.

Diane Sanfilippo: Which I’ll serve it to you when you come over one day.

Liz Wolfe: Thank you.

Liz Wolfe: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Vital Choice seafood and organics. Purveyor of premium sustainably sourced seafood and a certified B corporation. Vital choice offers a wide range of fish, shellfish, humanely raised meat, protein rich bone broths, and paleo friendly snacks like organic dark chocolate, super antioxidant trail mix, and bison jerky. My favorites from Vital Choice are the salmon and the tanner crab. And Diane’s favorites are the king salmon, seaweed salad, and canned Ventresca tuna. Celebrate the holidays, and your health, with premium seafood and organics from www.vitalchoice.com.

4. Certified B Corporation [12:55]

Liz Wolfe: Alright. It’s time for a listener question. But first, may I make a quick comment?

Diane Sanfilippo: Of course.

Liz Wolfe: Ok. Vital Choice, being a certified B corporation; I know a lot of folks don’t know what it means. But it’s actually an incredibly amazing certification that states that the company basically has to go out of it’s way in favor of the environment and the people that they employ and beyond. So we say, “a certified B corporation.” But it’s something that I really want people to understand how amazing it is. Beautycounter is also a certified B corporation. It represents an amazing dedication to everything that they’re doing from supply chain, to employees, to environmental impact. And I just want to affirm how awesome that is, and how excited I am that we’re affiliated with companies that care enough to do that.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yes, agreed.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. Alright, and now for the listener question.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} I was going to say something else about that though.

Liz Wolfe: Oh, go ahead.

Diane Sanfilippo: I just did a super quick, how can you find a B- corp Google search. And there’s a website, Bcorporation.net. I don’t know if it’s 100% up to date/accurate, but there’s fewer than 2200 certified B corporations, which is not that many if you think about how many companies are out there. So hopefully there will be more and more as time goes on. But you can search this website, Bcorporation.net, to find a certified B corp. Interesting, right?

5. Listener question: mindset change [14:35]

Liz Wolfe: And now, it’s time for a listener question. This is from Catherine. “I thought Diane’s post the other day about how we view progress in our lives. I’ve been wanting to suggest to Diane and Liz to do a podcast on how their mindset and view of health and life have changed over the years. This is inspired partly because I witnessed my own mindset changing as I age. I wish I could go back and smack my younger self sometimes, and I just think maybe a podcast like this would help some younger ladies, if they’re struggling now. Thank you for doing what you do.”

I love this question. I’m sure you’ve got some thoughts on this one. But I thought this was an awesome, awesome question.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. So, something that kind of got me thinking about our mindset and the way that that’s changed, and sort of the mindset makeover, or before and after. You know? All the before and after pictures that we see on Instagram, for example. I’m looking at them, and I’m realizing over the course of my life I could probably post one of those side by sides. I’ve posted them before, and I actually think even before I was trying to strike on this idea, I have always posted kind of what I was thinking and what I was doing; my own mindset, before and after. Because it’s not usually, more mostly, just about the food or any of that. This isn’t a knock on those before and after physical transformations. I just want to start this momentum in a direction of; why don’t we talk more about the way that you’re thinking and the positive ways that we’re changing how we’re thinking.

And sure, our actions can absolutely align and fall into place in response to the way we’re thinking. I just respect people’s thought process and thoughtfulness and mindset shifts almost more than I do the physical. I mean, it is more. Way more than the physical. Liz, you and I used to have this experience all the time when we would be teaching seminars around the country. We did this for a long time. And women would come up to us who; let’s say there were 50 or 100 other women in the room who would be at the seminar. That woman who came up to us who would say; you know, I haven’t had my period in two years. She would have looked physically, to everyone else in the room, like the picture of health, or what their goal was, for example.

I just think it’s so important that we realize that happiness doesn’t come when you hit a goal weight. Or a goal aesthetic. Or to have visible abs or any of that. My body has been through all the ups and downs. I’ve had visible abs. I’ve had a lot of weight to lose in my life; up and down. It’s definitely gone all over the place. And the thing that I’ve noticed now, in hindsight, is that when I had visible abs and was shredded, and my legs didn’t really touch when I was standing in the shower one day and kind of looked down; I was like, wait a minute. My thighs aren’t touching. Which is totally weird for me, if anybody has met me in person. I’m not; I don’t have a long, lean body type.

I know that my mindset was not great at the time. I know I wasn’t like; “Well, I feel great and happy and I’ve accomplished this and now I’m at peace and everything is great.” That does not happen when you hit those places physically. And it doesn’t mean that people can’t be extremely proud of a physical accomplishment. Whether that’s strength or competition that has to do with your physical abilities, or losing weight because for a lot of folks losing a lot of weight is 80-90% mindset. And 10-20% what you do, and the actual choices that you make and the physical action that you take.

I would love to hear some other women chime in on this, whether on the blog post or on the Instagram post when we put that up. Those of you who have gone through physical transformations; I want to hear from you. I want to know if you are with me on this. Or if you are not with me on this. I know we’ve got some people who maybe have gone through weight loss surgeries, or extreme weight loss, or maybe they became a figure competitor and now they’re on a different side of things. I just want to hear from people. What is their experience?

Because my experience has been, I now am in a place where I think I feel like I know what people expect of me when I show up somewhere. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, heading into this next tour for example. First of all, people expect me to be taller than I am. {laughs} Which that I cannot control, and I am not a tall person. But people expect a certain physical presence. And I don’t know what that picture is for everyone. But it’s something. There is some expectation. And that’s fine, and that’s fair. We talk about health here. And of course, I want to show up as a healthy person. But what does that mean to me?

To me, when I think about my life and what I do every day, the thing that means I’m healthy and balanced and successful in my life, or whatever, is that I’m not so focused on how I look that I don’t enjoy the food that I eat, and the time that I spend with my husband and my friends, and that I’m so focused on that that it’s at the expense of relationships in my life or time I want to spend working on projects that bring me great joy. I don’t know, there are just so many other things that I feel are making me a well-rounded happy person. And I think that there’s a huge amount of space for being healthy, and eating well, and being physically active. Those things are totally important, and an important part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle in general. I just think there’s too much focus on this before and after of, “I looked like that and now I look like this.”

And I really want to hear what people are saying in terms of; I used to think this way and now I think this way. Or, I used to not believe that I could do these things and then I did something and now I believe I can do these other things. That’s part of what’s coming through in the new sugar detox book; which, {laughs} I kind of like to get people into my little world with something like a nutrition program, and then I kind of slyly give them a mindset shift while they’re there. So the new book, I’m asking people a lot of questions every day in the journaling part that are not just about the food and what you’re eating and the decisions you're making around that and how you're feeling about it.

I’m asking people questions about things like; what’s something you're proud of today? What’s something that you accomplished that you didn’t think you could? What’s something that you overcame that you didn’t think you could? I want people to realize that everyone’s capable of things that they did not think they were capable of, and I want to get people to a place where I can instill confidence in them. Because I know a lot of times people look at me and they think; you can do that because whatever. You're confident and you believe in yourself. And it’s like, I’m really no different than anyone else. I have my own insecurities and my own things that kind of shake me. I just kind of keep picking myself back up. And I think that that’s something that I want to try and motivate and inspire other people to do.

And I think that’s kind of the stuff we talked about last week with the saying no, and standing up for yourself, and really being in a place where you do what’s best for you. Not at the expense of other people, in a way. But really getting to this place where our mindset is focused on; I don’t know. What’s really going to make us happy. And reflecting on things that we thought would make us happy in the past that truly haven’t. So how do we take that into consideration as we move forward with our lives, and realize that it’s not about how we look. You know?

And my last thought on this is, I think about someone like Oprah; and I don’t care if you're a fan of hers or not. But she’s been in the public eye for decades, and has had this public “struggle” with her weight. And I’m watching from the sidelines, and in a sense I’m like; “Girl. We don’t care. Whatever is happening on your hips is between you and yourself and whatever is going on there. And what you share with the world, and the way that you impact us.” This is me talking to Oprah, in case she’s listening. {laughs} but the way we are all impacted has nothing to do with 5, or 10, or 20, or 50 pounds. The only reason anybody cares about it is that someone is healthy and will be around for a while. And other than that, it’s not the thing that inspires us to live better lives that are more true to ourselves and become more of ourselves. I just want to continue to share that message. So I just said a lot of things. {laughs} I want to hear what you have to say.

6. In response to the expectation of perfection [24:14]

Liz Wolfe: So I wrote some notes down. Usually, when you and I have these discussions, I kind of piggyback on stuff that you said or vice versa. But to be completely honest, our technical connection isn’t perfect right now, so I’m just going to give my thoughts independent of what you just said. And I really apologize if I’m repeating something that you’ve already said. {laughs}

But I had some notes written down. And the first one; this is actually something I’ve been thinking about a lot. Not directly in response to the question about how our approach and our mindset has changed. But kind of viewed through the lens of an Instagram comment that you got about me recently, where someone said, “Sorry Liz, but you just don’t sound like a nutritionist talking about nachos all the time.” To that effect. Where it was basically like, almost the implication that I shouldn’t be doing this anymore because I’m not eating a perfect nutritionist meal at every meal every day.

And just to; I am, even though maybe people don’t know that I’m sensitive to this. I am sensitive to this. And I actually really don’t call myself a nutritionist, like ever. Sometimes I am called a nutritionist. I guess sometimes that would be accurate, but I consider myself, first and foremost, a writer, a communicator, someone that shares what I know, and the expertise that I have and the experience that I have to help other people. And I don’t want to bill myself as a nutritionist, or a nutrition blogger, or whatever first and foremost. Because I’m flawed. I don’t want people to feel like they’re going to be following somebody that’s perfect all the time. That’s having a perfect meal three times a day, and two perfectly proportioned, balanced snacks. Because that’s not me at all.

So I’ve been thinking about that. I felt like the comment was unnecessary and short sighted. But I also thought to myself, because I try to always do this. Let’s look at this from a different perspective. What harm would it be for me to step into those shoes and look at myself as somebody who is respected in a certain corner of the health world, and yet not at all perfect. Somebody that eats nachos and sourdough bread and ice cream and things like that.

What I came around to, was that number one I’m not required to be perfect and I don’t represent myself as such. And if people bring that baggage to the podcast or to my work, then that’s their stuff. If that’s what they want to be looking at, then they need to follow somebody else.

But at the same time, I feel like there is space for somebody like me in this community. Because I think I bring kind of a breath of reality. And I feel like the entire time I was growing up, and when I was younger and up through college and my post college years, I feel like I was always looking for that all or nothing proposition. I’m either healthy, or I’m not. The food I’m eating is either sending me one direction or I’m a fat slob sitting on the couch, watching the Biggest Loser, and crying into my soy ice cream.

I really just feel like the big mindset shift for me in growing up; I’m in my 30s, but I still feel like I’m growing up. Is to acknowledge those gray areas. And I feel like what I am right now; and this is going to sound derogatory to myself. But I’m kind of an armchair quarterback. I’m like that former college athlete that’s not in the game anymore, but people still want my expertise because they know I know things. They know I can observe and draw interesting conclusions and deconstruct some plays and let them know what I think is going on there. But you know what? I’m not actively playing this perfect paleo, perfect real food game right now.

My priorities are getting my head on straight. I feel like I’ve shared a little bit about that in the podcast. But since I became a mother, I have gone on a really intense journey through my own head. And I think that’s pretty common, but there’s been anxiety. There’s been therapy. There has been searching for different modalities that are going to help me to heal and be the best mom I can possibly be. Whether that’s expressive writing or cognitive behavioral therapy or EMDR or different modalities that I’m looking into to help myself navigate myself.

And the flat truth is; when I was only worried about what I was eating for every meal, that was a total avoidance tactic from figuring out how to actually navigate myself. And that’s; man. I wish that I learned all of this before I became a mom. Because not only do I not have time to figure myself out, now I actually really have to if I’m going to make a go of this and do a good job of it.

So, I think to that point, as well, Diane and I, we have to embrace, at the same time as the message we actually want to give people. Which is get your head right, that’s the most important thing. Your physical picture doesn’t necessarily tell the story of your health. You have the mainstream media telling us how we should look, and that really doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with health. You have the fact that our measures of health; our biochemical measures of health that are generally accepted in a healthcare community might not actually be indicative of health at all. Wanting to get cholesterol as low as possible is not actually what’s going to make you as healthy as possible, that type of thing.

We have all of those things that are kind of mixing our heads up. But it’s also true that while that might not be the message we want to engage in; just food centered and body composition centered, we also have to embrace what brings people to us. Like you were saying, Diane. You bring people in with the 21-Day Sugar Detox, but then you kind of smack them with the mindset shift. People aren’t coming to our podcast; at least 95% of the people that come to our podcast or our work are not coming because their friend told them that Liz talked about her postpartum anxiety on the podcast. That might be the thing that affects a certain number of people the most profoundly that I talked about that; but that’s four people. 100 people are coming in because they heard we talk about food and the paleo diet.

So we get those people in here, and then we continue to talk about things that actually matter. And in my mind, what actually matters is the same thing that matters to you, Diane. People getting their heads on straight, stress relief, lifestyle. Being honest about the fact that food is maybe the easiest thing to change, but it’s not the only thing that’s going to need to change if you really, really want to absolutely revolutionize the way you see yourself and the world. So those are my thoughts.

Diane Sanfilippo: Whoo! Here, here.

Liz Wolfe: I know. I feel like I just; hello, am I hallucinating? Did I say all those things?

Diane Sanfilippo: I love it. I feel like I’m always on my tear. And I think I lost the volume piece to where I was talking to you for a second there. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Oh no.

Diane Sanfilippo: My ear bud kind of got lost. So, you said a bunch of things that I wrote down notes as you were talking because I was like yes, yes! I was muted. If you guys don’t know, we often mute ourselves while the other person is really in the thick of it, because I just don’t want to interrupt. I don’t want a dog to bark or anything.

Liz Wolfe: Well, I actually just had a small heart attack thinking maybe I didn’t unmute myself. But I did. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: No, you were there.

Liz Wolfe: Good.

Diane Sanfilippo: I can’t remember who I was talking to this week, and I don’t know that it was you. But I don’t know if it was you or Cassy or one of the women on my team. But this idea of control. Like, you had mentioned nutrition is just one piece of the picture. And I really wish I knew where I wrote this down this week, because I was like; ooh, I need to talk about this more. {laughs} It was just like, in a casual conversation I was having.

It’s so easy to control food. And when your life feels like there are so many variables that you can’t control, so many people turn to food as something that they can control. And I think what you and I are doing is giving them a soft landing. Because there are a lot of people for whom nutritional changes are super necessary, and very helpful. I think that the majority of our listeners, by now, need to hear that changing what their eating is not the answer. Regardless of whether or not we talk about things like low-carb and keto. We have to talk about that, because those things are really helpful for a lot of people. And we don’t have to talk about it, but it is really helpful and people are curious. And I want to give our take on things. And provide that balanced view of; yes, you guys this can be helpful, but it’s not for everyone. And don’t forget; let’s not make a religion out of our food.

I think that you’re totally spot on with that control thing, and a lot of folks get to this point where I think what happened with that commenter; 100% projection. If what you want in a person who is going to talk about nutrition is only somebody who eats perfectly, then we are not for you. And I think over the last 6 years, we’ve evolved to a place where that is who we are. We don’t eat perfectly. I don’t know what perfect even is, you know what I mean? Somebody else’s idea of what eating perfectly could mean, I’m not even sure. I mean, I might go talk to Mark Sisson if you want to see somebody who eats perfectly, because I can’t imagine that man ever eating a gluten free sandwich. But maybe he does. If that’s part of your picture of not perfect.

I don’t really think anyone else gets to say what’s perfect for us to eat or not. I think at the end of the day if you're happy and healthy, and I put happy first, then it’s like; you do you. Everyone does what they need to do. And if eating some perfect way piles stress onto your life onto your life while what you're trying to do, first and foremost, is just frankly be a good mom and not be so worried about did I eat the perfect meal that then I can post on Instagram and people will think it’s perfect? I don’t think you or I have ever had that, this is how we want to do things. We want to show people what’s perfect. I just think we’ve always been sort of against that.

I think we want to be an example, and I think what we do in sharing the imperfections is give people permission to be who they are, and show people that we’re no different than anyone else. And this is real life. It’s not about eating anything in particular all the time. It’s about finding what works for you. And I think that’s wisdom. I think over the years that’s just wisdom of; we’ve seen the people come through who do the perfect diet and challenge after challenge or whatever’s happening, and that’s not the answer. It can be a starting point for some people who really are struggling to eat better food. Absolutely. There’s no denying that we’re going to teach people things about what to eat. Sure, of course! But we are not nutritionists and that’s our title and we don’t have other thoughts and feelings and things that we think about and want to share about and give people a perspective on.

I think that that’s all; I think it’s all serving to be more of a well-rounded expression of who we are and how we want to help and support people through whatever it is that they're doing to live a healthy, balanced life. Whatever that balance means for them. I don’t think that there’s one picture of that. I think it’s just got to mean whatever feels good for you as you move forward. #Unscripted. So just sharing all those thoughts. But yeah. {laughs}

The comment about the nachos; it just kind of made me laugh. Because I don’t care what kind of nachos Liz wants to eat. She can eat nachos or she can not eat nachos. None of that makes me think you don’t know what you know, you know what I mean? It’s just like, I purely see that as someone else’s projection of what they want and expect coming at you. You know what I mean?

Liz Wolfe: Yes. Needing other people to fill a certain expectation. And to be fair, that person actually reached out and apologized. Which I thought was incredibly mature and amazing. Because we don’t do that, right? As soon as somebody comes back and says, I think you're wrong. It’s like; well you’re… you can never. There are very few people that will actually say; you know, I think you're actually right.

And I try to do that in my life and in my marriage. Definitely not perfect with that. But I do try to step in other people’s shoes and just take a second to say; it’s ok if I’m wrong. I mostly do that as currency in my marriage, because the more I admit I’m wrong, the more I can hold that over his head. {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Totally kidding.

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh my gosh. You are so funny. I think that’s great. I’m so glad that she came back. I think that’s also just a note to everyone, because this stuff happens out there at large. But if somebody is living a life, or making choices, or posting things that, I don’t know. If you have some kind of potentially at all negative feeling about it, I think first of all, check yourself. And just check if this is you projecting onto that person. I also think privately contacting them is ok. I don’t think publicly insulting people is ever a good way. I don’t think privately insulting people is a good way. I think asking questions. Ask thoughtful questions. If you are; you know what I mean?

Like this one particular girl. I think the one thing is, there is really a question there underneath all of it. Is there a place for us to be eating certain foods and feel healthy and balanced? Can I believe a person who teaches about nutrition who also eats this? You know? It’s like, there are questions there. But I think they get projected in a different way, and I think it comes out as, I don’t know, these insulting comments. And I don’t think that is most people’s intention, to your point. I think most people have a good intention.

Liz Wolfe: The Balanced Bites podcast is sponsored in part by the Nutritional Therapy Association. The NTA trains and certifies nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants (including me; I’m an NTP), emphasizing bio-individuality and the range of dietary strategies that support wellness. The NTA emphasizes local, whole, properly prepared nutrient dense foods as the key to restoring balance and enhancing the body’s ability to heal. Nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants learn a wide range of tools and techniques to assess and correct nutritional imbalances. To learn lots more about the nutritional therapy program, go to http://www.NutritionalTherapy.com. There are workshop venues in the US, Canada, and Australia, so chances are you’ll be able to find a venue that works for you.

7. NTA conference class [40:22]

Diane Sanfilippo: I’m realizing we should mention the class that we’re teaching at the NTA conference this year.

Liz Wolfe: Indeed.

Diane Sanfilippo: So when is the conference? It’s the first weekend of March, correct? And our class is going to be the day before the conference starts. So if you're coming to the NTA conference, remember that you want to get there not just the day before, but a little bit further ahead. If you go to the NTA website, and you look at all of the course offerings for what’s coming up before the actual conference, you’ll see our class there. Liz and I are actually teaching a business class. So talking about strategies and tips and advice for how to take this whole thing that you guys are learning as NTPs and NTCs and actually make it to something where you can earn a living and you can really help people and have those two things kind of combine.

8. What we’re listening to [41:19]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright you guys. This segment is what we’re listening to right now. But it actually could be a reading if one of us was reading something instead of listening to it. But we’re going to call it listening to and we’re going to talk about either an audiobook or a podcast or something that we’re listening to. But read it on paper if you prefer.

So I have circled back to Brian Tracy’s Psychology of Achievement. It’s just something that every now and then, if I’m in a lull of, I don’t know, projects I’m working on. I need a little motivation, or I need to reframe my mindset, as we’ve been talking about mindset a lot in this show. I listen to that. You can get that on Audible. I think Cassy and I talked about that in our gift guide episode. It can be a little dry to listen to, but I enjoy it. I feel like it’s my grandpa, or something, talking to me. And I really like the little nuggets of wisdom that kind of shift my mindset as I listen to that. So that’s one.

I heard recently about Jenna Fischer’s new book, The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide. And I’m hoping/assuming it’s on Audible. And I’m totally going to download that, because, first of all, I love. Oh, I don’t know if I see it on Audible. Wait a minute. If it’s not on Audible, I don’t know what I’m going to do. {laughs} I guess I could read it.

But I think that her book is talking about the process of becoming an actor, but from the perspective being sort of a creative professional. And I don’t know that a lot of people who work in nutrition realize that you actually sort of are creative professional. Because you are coming up with creative, problem solving, creative solutions every day for your clients. So as I heard her talking about it, and I heard her talking about this idea of being ready, and just the work that you have to do behind the scenes all the time before you end up getting, in the actor’s world, a big break.

For me, it was years and years of schooling, and teaching seminars. Working on this podcast, writing blog posts. Things that people maybe saw and maybe didn’t before I ever spent time writing a book that then went on to do what it did with Practical Paleo. I was ready for that, because I had been doing the work for so many years before that, and that’s all stuff that nobody really ever sees. That’s the stuff that I hope a lot of people who are listening who are entrepreneurs or want to be or have a business or our nutrition coaches realize that all of this stuff requires a lot of the work and the grind. But I’m looking forward to reading her stories and her experience. Because of course, Jim and Pam, favorite TV couple ever. So I think it would be really fun to hear her story.

So that’s something; well I thought I was going to be listening to it, but I think I might have to actually grab the book and read it. Maybe I’ll bring that on tour. Something you're listening to right now? Or nothing new over there?

Liz Wolfe: Well, right now I’m listening to the song, “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge on repeat for hours and hours and hours at a time. You can imagine that’s not actually…

Diane Sanfilippo: Your choice.

Liz Wolfe: That’s kind of against my will.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: I’m being held hostage by a 2-year-old. What I am listening to right now is all of Gregg Renfrew; the CEO and founder of Beautycounter. I’m listening to her podcast interviews. And any interview I can find where she speaks. There are not very many, unfortunately, which is kind of a bummer. But I really enjoy hearing her talk about you can have it all, just maybe not all in the same day. Or not all at the exact same time. And it’s just been really interesting to listen to such an amazing speaker, entrepreneur, somebody who is so dedicated to social change, and empowering women, and really just cutting an entirely new mold for the direct sales industry. It’s really cool to listen to her speak.

I really need to become a better business woman; both for efficiency sake and also because I’ve got big dreams, but I also have a tiny child. And really kind of getting my you know what together is going to be requisite to continue to build a business with what I want to do with the baby program and all that stuff. So it’s very inspiring to hear from somebody who is not only amazing, but also an English major, as I was. And who has kids, and who is just building something amazing that’s also helping people and moving the entire market forward.

Which, you know I don’t want to say it’s uniquely female to want to build a business that also makes significant social change and helps people and to be willing to spend money on that as part of your business plan. I don’t know that that’s something that only female entrepreneur’s do, but I certainly think it skews heavily in that direction. So it’s pretty cool to listen to her speak. So that’s what I’m listening to; or trying to listen to now.

Diane Sanfilippo: I love it. She’s super inspirational.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright, how about you close us out with some closing thoughts?

Liz Wolfe: Well, I feel like kind of dumped out all of the profound thoughts that I have for the day in our discussion earlier. But I think my closing thoughts for the day would be just to looking at your life or whatever situation you're in right now, try and just kind of sit with it. In a way, that’s taking ownership of whatever it is you’re dealing with or wherever you are in life right now. And at the same time, sitting with whatever it is you're dealing with. Or in my case, the fact that I’m a former pro-nutritionist turned armchair quarterback. That’s where I am right now; I can own that. I feel like I can still help people and continue to make plans for my life to help people without being perfect. I’m sitting with that rather than trying to constantly pretend that I’m in a different place or that I’m someone different.

So if anyone resonates with that and can do that in their own life, I think it can be pretty empowering and it can bring a lot of peace to the whole process of working to become better. But also giving yourself grace for where you are.

Alright, that’s it for this week then. You can find me, Liz, at http://realfoodliz.com/ and you can find Diane at http://dianesanfilippo.com. Join our email lists for free goodies and updates that you don’t find anywhere else on our website or on the podcast. And, hey, if you love tuning in each week, as a gift to us this season, would you please hop into the Apple podcast app and leave us a review? It really helps new listeners find our show. See you next week.