Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott

Podcast Episode #341: Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott

Diane Sanfilippo Featured, Paleo and Primal, Podcast Episodes 2 Comments

Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & ScottTopics

  1. News and updates from Diane [1:53]
  2. Today's guest, Dr. Sccott Mills [3:15]
  3. Listener questions: Diane and Scott's first date [7:10]
  4. Explaining the cost of healthy eating to a spouse [12:45]
  5. The fur kids: Harper and Mason [15:16]
  6. Tips for a successful marriage, not a hack [16:47]
  7. Duality of careers [27:28]
  8. Differences of health and wellness plans [31:10]
  9. The decision to have or not have kids [34:02]
  10. Tips dealing with a Rebel wife [35:40]
  11. Making the other laugh [41:03]
  12. Temptations and treats [42:37]
  13. Biggest pet peeve about the other [44:25]
  14. Admire the most in each other [46:39]
  15. What you missed on Instagram [49:22]

Subscribe to

The episodes are also available in iTunes, Spotify & Stitcher.

Emily Schromm's Body Awareness Project

 Show sponsors:
NTA | Podcast Sponsor | Balanced Bites Podcast | Diane Sanfilippo





Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott Balanced Bites Podcast with Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Ask Us Anything! Diane & Scott

You’re listening to the Balanced Bites podcast episode 341.

Diane Sanfilippo: Welcome to the Balanced Bites podcast. I’m Diane; a certified nutrition consultant, and the New York Times bestselling author of Practical Paleo and the recently released, The 21-Day Sugar Detox Daily Guide. I live in San Francisco with my husband and fur kids.

I’m the co-creator of the Balanced Bites Master Class with my podcast partner in crime, Liz, and we’ve been bringing you this award-winning podcast for more than 6 years. We’re here to share our take on modern healthy living, answer your questions, and chat with leading health and wellness experts. Enjoy this week’s episode, and submit your questions at or watch the Balanced Bites podcast Instagram account. You can ask us anything in the comments.

Remember our disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only, and are not to be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Before we get started, let’s hear from one of our sponsors.

Diane Sanfilippo: The Balanced Bites podcast is sponsored in part by the Nutritional Therapy Association. The NTA trains and certifies nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants (including Liz; she’s an NTP), emphasizing bio-individuality and the range of dietary strategies that support wellness. The NTA emphasizes local, whole, properly prepared nutrient dense foods as the key to restoring balance and enhancing the body’s ability to heal.

The NTA’s nutritional therapy practitioner program and new, fully online nutritional therapy consultant program, empower graduates with the education and skills they need to launch a successful, fulfilling career in holistic nutrition. To learn lots more about the NTA’s nutritional therapy programs, go to Registration is open for their May NTP and NTC courses, so grab your seat today.

1. News and updates from Diane [1:53]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright, a couple of quick updates for you guys. The 21-Day Sugar Detox coaches program is open for enrollment, but closes soon. So if you have been wanting to check it out. If you're on the fence, definitely hop on over to or you can find the Facebook group. It’s the coaches program interest group. You're more than welcome to join that group whether or not you're ready to sign up. We’re happy to chat you through any questions that you have, and you can hang out there if you want, and get ready for the next time we open enrollment.

Balanced Bites spices are coming back soon. I promise, stay tuned. It should be within the next couple of weeks. So head over to Instagram and we will definitely update you guys there over at Balanced Bites.

One other thing I want to let you guys know about, which we’re going to be talking about a bunch more. It’s Emily Schromm’s Body Awareness Project. It’s a comprehensive program on skincare. It digs into the root cause behind hormonal acne and more, featuring tons of awesome guests, myself included. But also my friends like Liz Wolfe and Juli Bauer from PaleOMG talking about all things skin and body awareness. It is an awesome program. You guys should definitely check it out.

You can also choose to receive a skin essential box from the program full of Emily’s favorite and necessary products for healthy skin. So stay tuned for more details on that, and I’ll probably bring Emily on the show soon to talk more about it. Because it’s a really amazing project.

2. Today’s guest, Dr. Scott Mills [3:15]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright everyone. We’ve got my husband, Scott.

Dr. Scott Mills: Hey everybody!

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Dr. Scott Mills is back on the show. He was on two previous episodes; numbers 183 and 229. So if you guys hearing from Dr. Scott today. We actually talked about a bunch of different things, I think, the previous episodes we did, not just kind of an ask us anything style, right?

Dr. Scott Mills: It was more chiropractic care, self-care. We did a couple of shows like that where we answered listener questions.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: And our fur kids are going to make noise during this episode.

Diane Sanfilippo: There goes Mason. So we’re cozied up in our dining room here to answer questions. We got a ton of listener questions from you guys over on the Instagram page. So we’re going to dive into a bunch of those today. But not before we do a little bit of ice breaker, which I would like to do.

Dr. Scott Mills: Ice breaker? Well let’s break the ice.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Let’s break the ice. Do we need to break the ice?

Dr. Scott Mills: I think we do.

Diane Sanfilippo: OK. So what’s a new thing that you're digging lately, Dr. Scott?

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah. One of the cool things that I posted about on Instagram last week was, I was invited by our friend, Tonya, who is a gymnastics coach here in the city of San Francisco to come join her for a little semi-private session at her AcroSports gym that she teaches out of. So it was me, and one other guy who is also a crossfitter. He’s actually a coach at one of the local gyms. He’s been working with her for a few months, so I got to come in as the newbie and try some tumbling and some gymnastics.

I am not any of those things. {laughs} I’ve never trained as a gymnast. Probably haven’t done a somersault since elementary school.

Diane Sanfilippo: You definitely have more of what I would consider a swimmer’s build, if anything. A swimmer, maybe a runner if you weren’t doing CrossFit and lifting heavy the past, you know, six years since we’ve been together. So for anyone who is trying to picture a swimmer doing gymnastics {laughs} that’s kind of what it looked like. Because I was up in the bleachers momming it up, in a sense. With my iPhone, trying to video everything. I really felt like a stage mom or something, trying to capture it all on video. It was pretty funny. But it was awesome.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah it was.

Diane Sanfilippo: I loved watching that.

Dr. Scott Mills: It was a lot of fun. And one of the things I talk a lot about on my podcast, Full Body Fix Radio if you guys want to check that out, is how our bodies really respond well to new stressors. The ability to adapt to new stressors, I think, is the ultimate expression of health. So I wanted to try some new movement practices. And that was a perfect opportunity.

And it was kind of funny, because the very next CrossFit Open workout, for those of you guys doing the Open, actually involved handstand walking. Although, I did not actually get to that component of the workout. But we did practice some handstands. I got to flip into the foam pit. It was really fun. I had a good time, and I’m definitely going to go back.

Diane Sanfilippo: You definitely looked like you were having a lot of fun.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, it was.

Diane Sanfilippo: And it was very reminiscent for me at my days at the Circus Center. Which, AcroSports, where Tonya teaches, is like a sister gym, in a sense, in terms of location. I don’t think they’re related business-wise, at all. But they’re these two gymnasiums out by Kezar stadium here in San Francisco. So if you're like; “Wait. I live in San Francisco; where is this happening? I didn’t know about this.”

People can take classes. It’s open, essentially, to the public in a way. You have to sign up and do all of that. I know at the circus center. AcroSports may have some different things they may or may not have as many adult classes, I’m not sure.

Dr. Scott Mills: They definitely have some adult classes. I saw them advertise it. I didn’t get any specifics on it. But I’m sure there are other facilities like that around the country. So check it out. Try it out.

3. Listener questions: Diane and Scott’s first date [7:10]

Diane Sanfilippo: Cool. Alright, so should we dive into questions now?

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, let’s answer some listener questions.

Diane Sanfilippo: Should I ask; I should ask the questions?

Dr. Scott Mills: Maybe we should just bounce back and forth.

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. So the first question; and we don’t have all the names of everyone who asked these. But they’re all from Instagram so thank you, all of you, who follow in Instagram at Balanced Bites podcast. The first question is; “How did you meet? And what was your first official date?”

Dr. Scott Mills: So.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} We met through, because of mutual friends. Bill and Hayley of Primal Palate, while I was living in Pittsburg, which is where they live. I had reached out to them at one point, and they ended up coming to my practice and getting worked on. And at some point very early on, I was teaching just a general health and wellness class that they came to. And right after the class, they were like; you need to meet our friend Diane. So eventually you came; I think it was on the first Practical Paleo tour to Pittsburg.

Diane Sanfilippo: It was. It was October 2012. It was at; was it Penguin Book Shop? Is that what it was called?

Dr. Scott Mills: That sounds right.

Diane Sanfilippo: So that’s where we met. And we went to dinner that night with a group of people. And we both ordered the same thing. And we both thought that the apple sauce was too cinnamony.

Dr. Scott Mills: It was a pork chop.

Diane Sanfilippo: It was a pork chop.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh, it was a pork chop. How fitting. Which is our favorite thing to eat, ever. And we also; well I would not sit next to him, because I was like, that’s too much. You can’t just throw me in and now I’m going to sit right next to this guy I don’t even know if I like him yet. {laughs} So I didn’t sit next to him.

Then, that next; was it the very next night? I think I invited you. I was staying with Bill and Hayley, and I invited you to come join us for dinner. And you came over to their house. And he brought his guitar. And then it was over and he was playing Guster songs, I think, in the living room.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah. Definitely.

Diane Sanfilippo: And then that was back when Bill and Hayley were working on their book, Gather. And I remember Bill was trying to nail a paleo grain-free fortune cookie recipe. Which I don’t think ended up getting finalized or making it into the book. But we were all sitting around their dining table writing little fortunes to go in the cookies.

Dr. Scott Mills: Oh, yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: And I remember I stole a couple that Scott wrote. And they were; I mean it was so corny.

Dr. Scott Mills: So nerdy.

Diane Sanfilippo: Like, “the first wealth is health.”

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: They were so nerdy. But I saved them. And I had them inside my little iPhone cover for a long time thereafter. And they’re since gone. But those were the early days.

Dr. Scott Mills: And then our first date, we went out to dinner. This was a few weeks later, because you went off to do some more touring and then came back. We went to Legume.

Diane Sanfilippo: In Pittsburg.

Dr. Scott Mills: Which was the name of the restaurant in Pittsburg. That was our first official first date.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. That was it.

Dr. Scott Mills: You know, actually I think that kind of goes well with one of the other questions which is; somebody asked if our paleo-ish lifestyles matched up when we first met, or if there was a big discrepancy. And honestly, it was actually pretty seamless. Both being in holistic health professions, coming from that perspective.

I think for me, I was gluten free since 2008-2009-ish. And then really started teaching and practicing more paleo or primal lifestyle probably closer to 2010-2011. So yeah, I was already there when we met. Which made things probably easier {laughs} for us.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah, I don’t know what I would have done. Basically, Scott can probably attest to this. If whoever I had met and gotten along with, and we were going to have a relationship didn’t eat this way, he would have had to. He would have to change that part of his lifestyle, or it just would not work. There’s no way I could actually live with someone and have a successful relationship with someone out of the gate with whom that does not align. Because it’s not just my work, and it’s not just how I eat. It is part of how I am.

I think the other thing that probably was important really early on was that there was a day when; I’m totally outing you.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: There was a day when I looked over on the couch and Scott was eating; I mean, we call it schmo chocolate. It’s not any kind of high quality. It wasn’t dark chocolate. It was probably Hershey’s miniatures with those little nugget things.

Dr. Scott Mills: I know exactly what it was. It was the nuggets. It was a Hershey’s nugget.

Diane Sanfilippo: It was a giant bag of chocolate that he had stashed in the dining room credenza or whatever it was. And he looked at me with this guilty face of; “Uh-oh, is she going to judge me?” And I was like, “Can I have one?”

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: “What are you doing? How are you not sharing this?” And I think we eat really high-quality stuff most of the time. And we really don’t buy that kind of candy at this point. But he had it from some event or something.

Dr. Scott Mills: It was a gift, somebody gave me a bunch. Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah, and he was nervous I was going to judge him for it. And I was like; no, no. Can you give me a piece of that please?

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} If we’re doing it, let’s share.

Diane Sanfilippo: So we definitely; we see really eye to eye on keeping things eye quality and super healthy, but also treats and enjoying life.

Dr. Scott Mills: And not stressing about things like that.

4. Explaining the cost of healthy eating to a spouse [12:45]

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. So there was a question very specifically. It said; “How do you explain to your spouse about the cost of healthy eating. My hubby has a hard time justifying buying clean meat.” She says, “Bacon and sandwich meat and canned tuna, for example. And other health foods. He is the best husband ever for letting me buy these foods for myself, but doesn’t understand the benefit to justify the cost.”

I would say early on, I was definitely. I’m a spender. If there’s differences, I’m a spender. You're not a spender.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yes. More conservative. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. I have always put high-quality meat and all of that kind of at the top of the list. So as soon as we were together more and I was doing some of the shopping, it was kind of like; this is what I’m buying.

Dr. Scott Mills: Right.

Diane Sanfilippo: Even now, I think it’s almost pretty much aligned in that sense. But I don’t know what the shift was for you. At whatever point you decided; ok, it’s worth it. Or, you know, I just don’t want the questions when I come home with the non-organic thing or whatever it may have been.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, that’s a good question. I don’t have a specific thing in my mind about it. Although I was trying, even when we first met. I was doing CSAs, and trying to buy meat from local farmers there in the suburbs of Pittsburg area. And there are actually some pretty good sources there. But, I am definitely more prone to be like; oh, this one is $1 cheaper, $2 cheaper. So I don’t know.

Diane Sanfilippo: I think at the end of the day, it comes down to just whatever your priority is in your life. So because we are obviously eating all of our meals together now, we agree that the priority is our health. And for us, that means high quality food, first and foremost.

This is a topic we’re not really going to get too much into. But I don’t have health care. Do you have health care, still?

Dr. Scott Mills: Just an HSA account.

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. So we don’t have; we refer to it as sick care. We don’t have sick care. So that’s hundreds of dollars a month we would be spending on something that we don’t. So that’s just one example. We have one car. We live in the city. Yes, it’s expensive to live here. But we have one car. So it’s just a matter of choosing things differently. So we do spend more on food. We don’t go out to eat a ton. And so it’s just a reappropriation of funds, in a sense.

Dr. Scott Mills: Exactly.

Diane Sanfilippo: OK.

5. The fur kids: Harper and Mason [15:16]

Dr. Scott Mills: Well, lets do a fun one.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: Somebody asks, “Did we rescue Harper and Mason as a couple, or did they come into your family separately. Also, when you first saw Harper, did you know she was the one?” {laughs} I guess that’s for me. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: I thought I was the one. {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: We each rescued our pets separately. So I rescued Harper when she was just a pup. That was when I was in New York, about halfway through chiropractic college. So she’s actually 9.5 now. A lot of people think, when they see her on the street or on Instagram that she’s a puppy. No, she’s 9.5. and I think, you can say how old Mason is.

Diane Sanfilippo: I think Mason’s about the same age. I can’t remember exactly. I think he’s about the same age. {laughs} Should I know his birthday?

Dr. Scott Mills: Yes.

Diane Sanfilippo: Actually, I can look back at Facebook. There’s probably a Timehop of a week of all photos and videos of little kitten Mason. I adopted Mason, for sure.

Dr. Scott Mills: And I did know Harper was the one. When I visited her for the very first time at foster car where she was staying, we went into the backyard. And there was a ball sitting there, so I just kicked it to see what would happen. And she did the little cute pounce thing that she still does with her fur butt up in the air, and her legs down. My heart melted, and that was the end of that.

Diane Sanfilippo: She still totally does that. in our garage, especially.

6. Tips for a successful marriage, not a hack [16:47]

Diane Sanfilippo: OK. So here’s one. “What are your marriage hacks?” And then there was a little, “ala Girls Gone WOD podcast”, and I don’t know what the shout out. There’s a little shout out to Girls Gone WOD podcast.

Dr. Scott Mills: Maybe they do a regular segment like that.

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh maybe. Maybe they do one about marriage hacks or something.

Dr. Scott Mills: We should probably check that out.

Diane Sanfilippo: So what are your marriage hacks?

Dr. Scott Mills: First of all, I don’t actually care for the word hacks. Can we talk about that? {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: I don’t think either of us like the word hacks. Even though I am very prone to establishing hacks, I just don’t like that word. That word implies that you're cheating something, I think.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: And I don’t think either of us like that. I definitely like to find the best, most efficient ways of doing things.

Dr. Scott Mills: And I like merit-based stuff, so I did the right thing so I got the award. That’s very; we’ll talk about this probably more with our personality stuff. Yeah, anyway. So tips for a successful marriage? {laughs} Can we say that?

Diane Sanfilippo: So we talked about this on a YouTube video that we did together. So if you guys want to watch a video.

Dr. Scott Mills: I forgot that made it to YouTube.

Diane Sanfilippo: Feel free. But I think the number one thing, and this is true when we very first got together. We met when we were 34. And at that point, for those of you listening if you're much younger, {laughs} you will know yourself far better when you're 34 than you do when you're 24. Even when you're 30. Every year that passes as you get older, especially into your 30s, you just know yourself so much better. And especially if you're somebody who pays attention to that stuff. And does personality tests. Goes through arguments and disagreements with people, and then can mend it. There’s just a lot of learning that happens in those years. And I think it’s so valuable.

There’s also a lot that happens, I think, especially with women in our 20s and early 30s where we have to get to a place where we realize that we are not trying to find someone who will like us. It’s about being compatible with each other, and equally liking each other and loving each other. And I think; I don’t think I’m alone in saying this. But as women, a lot of times in our 20s, and sometimes early 30s, there’s just a sense of pressure. Obviously there’s a biological clock for most people. And I think that that puts this pressure on women to just find the guy and get married do the thing. Women don’t always stop; and I’m only speaking from my perspective because I was there. We don’t always stop and really fully assess how compatible we are and how much we just frankly enjoy spending time together. You know. And that’s something that I think is extremely valuable.

So we also had a lot of very hard conversations early on. We were in a bit of; I don’t know if I want to say a pressure cooker situation. But it was a high-pressure situation because we lived 6 hours apart. So very early on, I was like; “Listen. We are not just dating to date.”

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: I live 6 hours from you. If I’m going to be driving 6 hours to then spend a few days in the area, I have to know that we’re at least both looking for the same thing. And it’s funny, because when my parents tell the story of when they met and realized they got along well, it was a very similar conversation of. “Are you looking for this? Are you looking for this? Ok. Cool.” And I’m pretty sure they were not together that long before they got married. Like several months, maybe.

But I just kind of chalk it up to getting to a place where we had very hard conversations early on, just about our views on things. Everything. Our views on religion, and our views on wanting children or not. Our views on money. How we handle so many things. We talked about everything. And it was uncomfortable in a lot of ways. It just wasn’t fun, you know. It wasn’t like; oh, we’re just ignoring all of those things. I put the pressure on, I think, very often to just have the conversations.

Dr. Scott Mills: Skipped the honeymoon phase and went right to the hard conversations. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah.

Dr. Scott Mills: But I will say, too, here’s the thing about that. We didn’t agree, and don’t agree on everything. But, we choose each other, and we choose to talk about those things in a civil way. And move forward together. I think people get too hung on; oh, every box has to absolutely check off on the list. Right? Of agreements. And if one of those things is off, it’s doomed to fail. But that was kind of what you were saying. Knowing yourself, also knowing the other person and how they respond to you. And then being able to talk about those things, work through things, match them up and enjoy life together without getting so stressed out about it.

Diane Sanfilippo: I think attitude and outlook and willingness to grow and change are just so important. And if you're in a relationship that you’ve been in for a really long time, and you realize that you both don’t share a growth mindset, that can be really challenging. And I think that’s a place where a lot of our listeners who might be a little bit older, or have been in relationships for a long time, are finding themselves stuck. Because they might see our relationship, whatever they can see of it, and be like; wow, I wish things were like that. and part of it is really doing that hard work and having those uncomfortable conversations. And still, like you said, choosing your partner and just being a super loving person.

But in terms of practical stuff, very early on. I don’t remember exactly when. Within weeks of dating, we asked about each other’s love languages. I remember. So that was really important very early on to just know what kinds of things helped the other person feel loved and appreciated. And if you’ve never done that, I think it’s critical. And it’s a very simple thing to do.

Dr. Scott Mills: Just read the cheat sheet. Go through it. It’s easy.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Read the cheat sheet. Yeah. And then, as we’ve gone on over the years, we’ve taken more personality tests and things like that. and that’s really helped us a lot. I think Gretchen Rubin’s framework has helped us a bunch. I think both of us, for sure. I just think it’s helped a lot.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, for sure. And the enneagram is a big one that I think we’re still reading, learning, and realizing how that affects our personal relationship as well as marriage. But that’s the kind of work that we committed to early on, and continue to do to check in with each other. I think there are a couple of big errors that people make. We could make this podcast long. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: We could probably do a whole; if you guys want a whole episode about marriage, comment when you see the graphic for this episode and let us know. I mean, we’ve not been married that long, so I’m sure I could probably bring my mom onto the podcast or something. But anyway. What were you going to say?

Dr. Scott Mills: Just that a big pitfall is something you were kind of reference; which that a lot of people at the beginning of relationships, I don’t know, bury their feelings about stuff because they thing the other person is going to reject them. We just didn’t have that. we got rid of that stuff right off the top. “This is who I am.” “This is who I am.” “Are we ok?” “Yes, we’re ok. Let’s move forward.” So we sort of threw off that pretense that I think exists a lot of times early on in relationships. And has served us well.

Diane Sanfilippo: I think the last thing we can both say about this topic is, on the idea of not sweeping things under the rug and not suppressing things that make you upset or perhaps a little bit angry in the moment. Well, two things there. One is to not just explode about something in the moment. Because I think we both know that if there was a mistake, or an accident, or something bad happened, that the other person didn’t intent to hurt us or upset us.

And I think that’s a very important thing to remember in relationships. If you go into situations assuming that your partner didn’t buy the almond milk because he was trying to hurt you, then you're just setting yourself up for argument after argument. Versus assuming that he honestly just forgot. That’s something so simple, but I think that’s a common thing that people could blow up for. And I think you and I had this conversation also early on. That I wouldn’t get angry or upset about certain things that you were sure I would get angry about.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: You're like; oh gosh.

Dr. Scott Mills: From past experience.

Diane Sanfilippo: From past experience. So, I do think that learning through past relationships is so important, too. I learned for myself that I just need to say the thing, if something got me angry or upset. Sit with it for a while and try to process what I really want to say before I just out with it in an angry way. Try and sit with it. And then I think you learned what? From previously having been married.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah. I don’t know how many listeners know that, but I was married before, and been divorced for a few years before we met. But yeah, I think that was a big shift going into the relationship with you. I didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. And I wanted to talk about those things, like we talked about up front. Not just bury feelings. So yeah, it was definitely a big learning experience.

Diane Sanfilippo: Good thing you married a quasi-half Jew. Because we talk about all the feelings all the time.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing} Yeah, that helped me out.

Diane Sanfilippo: It seems to be a little bit of a cultural thing, for sure.

Diane Sanfilippo: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Perfect Keto. Dr. Anthony Gustin and his teams have created lines of supplements that are super clean and effective, no matter what your dietary needs. I’ve been blending the MCT oil powder into my matcha latte lately. Not only are MCTs, medium-chain triglycerides, a premium source of your body’s preferred type of energy and help to fuel your brain and body, but there’s also no added flavors or sweeteners, and it makes your coffee, or matcha, wonderfully cream. Check them out at and use the code Balanced for 20% off. And you can use that code over at their sister company,

7. Duality of careers [27:28]

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. Here’s a good one. “How do you juggle/prioritize each of your careers? Does one of you ever sacrifice a project because the other needs support on something they are doing?”

Dr. Scott Mills: Yes. And no. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: I think we support each other really well, first of all. Just by way of saying it right up front; I edit this podcast every week. So, most people know that. but since I’d say episode, I think it was around 58 or something like that. so for 300 almost shows I’ve been doing this every week, supporting you, doing that. The payment is love.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: And food.

Diane Sanfilippo: And bolognaise or something.

Dr. Scott Mills: Something like that.

Diane Sanfilippo: In terms of sacrificing a project because the other needs support; I don’t really think that happens so much. I think more often what happens is just an ebb and flow of household responsibilities. So when I was eyeball deep in book editing, I pretty much came to expect that Scott would make dinner those nights. Or a lot of those nights. Or that we would call and order a Souvla. Something that’s one of our favorite things, that we would just kind of swoop in and be there.

And same thing happens on Tuesday when Scott has his very busy day. Of course, now and then I falter on it. But most Tuesdays, I'm like; I will get the dinner made and have it ready when he comes in the door. We have a very balanced partnership, I think. But there are a few times when it’s a time of year or just a time of the week that one of us is just grinding more than the other. And we try and support each other on those days.

But in general, we’re together a lot of the time. We work very autonomously on our projects. I almost never really talk about a lot of the minutia of the things I’m working on with Scott. And obviously he has patients, I’m not hearing about their diagnoses or anything like that. {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: We do have our very, very separate work. So I think the only other time that would be, like a juggling or something like that, is when I’m traveling to tour or something like that. But we’re just very much collaborative on all of that. and I think probably not having kids makes all of that exponentially less difficult.

Dr. Scott Mills: I would think so. Yeah, I totally agree. But a really good example, I think, I know that if she’s writing a book and in final edits, I’m going to pick up a good chunk of the household duties, and that’s fine.

The other thing I wanted to say, though, too is that if those things don’t necessarily get done 100% of the time, we also don’t get upset with each other. {laughs} We’re good about; I don’t know.

Diane Sanfilippo: Communicating expectations.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah. Communicating expectations. Not bearing the; oh, man. I wish he had had dinner ready.

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh my god, I would never think that.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: I would never assume that you would do something that I want you to do without me vocally expressing that I would like for you to do something. And that goes into the whole; Upholder. Although I think you definitely lean towards Obliger.

Dr. Scott Mills: Probably a little bit, yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: And Rebel. Because asking me to do pretty much anything almost never works. Except, I will do things out of love. I do them if you're like; “Hey can you pick this up at the store.” It’s not like I wont pick something up at the store. It’s not like that.

8. Differences of wellness plans [31:10]

Dr. Scott Mills: So next question is; “How to avoid stepping on each other’s toes, as much as you can be in sync with wellness, everyone can find something they don’t agree with their spouse on when it comes to nutrition and fitness. How do you handle disagreements? Have you ever shared a patient/client seeing Scott for adjustments and Diane for nutrition?” We can answer that one really quickly. No. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: I don’t see clients for nutrition, so that’s kind of off the table. But in terms of stepping on each other’s toes; the only time this really comes up is if one of us is trying to do a 6-week nutrition plan. I was doing a 12-week plan. Recently Scott did a month of a challenge. Was it a month?

Dr. Scott Mills: Mm-hmm.

Diane Sanfilippo: A month of a challenge with one of the trainers at his gym. And sometimes it just takes extra communication around what is one person eating or not eating. And then trying not to taunt each other with it. {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: “I’m giving up coffee!” “Oh, delicious coffee!”

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. But I think we’re also both very, very, very strong willed. And when we decide we want to do something, I don’t know that, just Scott having coffee, if I said I didn’t want to have it, doesn’t make me want to have it all the time.

Dr. Scott Mills: That’s the Taurus in us.

Diane Sanfilippo: If I’ve decided; we’re both very bull-headed. So I don’t know. There’s really; I don’t know what we don’t agree on when it comes to nutrition and fitness. There are things we do differently.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah. Well the only time that I thought of it too was the same thing you brought up. I think you were doing a macros plan a few years ago now. And I started it and hated it so I quit right away. and I know, that was, I think, challenging on you a little bit. Just when I was slamming all the carbs just because I was doing CrossFit or whatever. And you were having to count everything, and I was like; “I don’t want to count!” But it wasn’t bad.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, it’s a perpetual annoyance, I will say, that’s he’s a naturally lean person and can eat a lot more carbs than I can in general. And just eat a lot more. Partially just because men have testosterone and they can burn more than we can as women. But it’s the hardest thing in the world and would take me several months to lose 10 pounds. And for Scott to do it in a month is; not easy, but also not the hardest thing in the world. And that’s really annoying.

But there’s not much that we don’t agree on. I really don’t drink that much alcohol. And Scott likes cider. But we don’t argue about it. I’m like; ok, have your cider.

Dr. Scott Mills: What’s there to argue about? {laughs}

9. The decision to have or not have kids [34:02]

Diane Sanfilippo: There’s not an argument there. Really, we just don’t do the same thing. OK, so here’s the next one. Is this the cat; this is the cat. His tail is whipping against me. “Do you have any advice for others who may not want to have children? Is there anything that swayed you one way or the other in this choice, if that’s not too personal. Love the show.”

Well I will say that I have known since I was very young that I didn’t want children. It does come up now and then. I’m like; what will happen when we’re 70 or 80 and we don’t have kids. And it is an interesting thing to be; we’re both about to turn 40. It is a really interesting thing to be this age. We talk about this a lot. And not have kids. And not because we’re bored or don’t have a lot of things to do. Or have full lives. I feel like our lives are very, very full. It’s just that a lot of the friends that we have obviously have this whole other thing going on now, and we don’t relate anymore. And it’s not a negative, we just do different things.

And I think very similarly in the way, also, that a lot of our friends are entrepreneurs. And the friends that we used to have that aren’t entrepreneurs; it’s hard to relate to people who aren’t entrepreneurs. We have different challenges and different things that we face every day. So it’s just sort of like that, where it’s just a different perspective and a different stage in life.

But in terms of anything that swayed either of us, I’ve just.

Dr. Scott Mills: I just think there are people that feel that desire deep in their bones to have kids, and then there’s folks like us who just don’t feel that way. {laughs} I really don’t think it’s any deep mystery.

10. Tips dealing with a Rebel wife [35:40]

Diane Sanfilippo: “My husband listens to the podcast with me while we’re in the car. He’d love Scott’s tips on how to best communicate with and handle your Rebel wife.” She’s also a Rebel, she says.

Dr. Scott Mills: Oh boy.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughing}

Dr. Scott Mills: Ok, so first off. It takes a special person to be in a good relationship with a Rebel, I think. So I’ll just pat myself on the back there, and our listener’s husband. The big thing is, kind of like we already talked about. Realizing that Rebel’s, just like the rest of us, they’re not acting the way they’re acting out of malice or disrespect. I think that’s a big one; especially when, this is a gender stereotype. But when the woman is the Rebel and a man maybe is the Obliger or Upholder or Questioner, that there is some sort of disrespect happening, because the Rebel is doing things on their own terms. And the motivation has to be within and make sense to themselves.

I think that’s the biggest component. It’s not really like, “How do I deal with this?” it’s just understanding that other person. If you understand what drives them is their own deep desire and motivation to do things the way that feels right to them, and for them to find purpose in the things that they do. Once you understand that, I think it sort of unlocks the mystery behind the behavior that doesn’t make sense to us. It frankly doesn’t. And that’s not a mean thing to say. It’s just, I don’t understand how your motivations and how your brain works. Because I don’t think like that.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah.

Dr. Scott Mills: I’m sure it’s the same for other cross types.

Diane Sanfilippo: That’s like me with an Obliger. I’m like; I don’t understand how that person can take so much from other people and not of their own volition.

Dr. Scott Mills: But if you learn about these frameworks, I think the more you understand and try to see things from the other person’s perspective, the easier it is. Like, for us to not get upset or frustrated when those differences arise. I don’t have any specific example or.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well I think also to the point about the different tendencies. It doesn’t determine everything about your personality; it’s just one thing. So it’s just speaking to how I handle expectation. And the truth is, Scott doesn’t place a ton of expectations on me. And I think part of that is because we have a certain type of relationship where I just don’t; there’s a few things that we both expect of each other. And I think we have come to a place where we do most of that very often, whatever that is. Whether it’s household things, or the way that we treat each other, the way that we talk to each other, any of that. Or how much we communicate.

So, in this question about how to best communicate, when you understand that a Rebel needs to identify sense of self in terms of the purpose behind what they’re doing, it has to align with who I believe myself to be. And so, I wasn’t exercising for months this winter. And I know that wasn’t something that Scott was feeling happy about, in general, for me.

Dr. Scott Mills: Right.

Diane Sanfilippo: Just because he knows that I do identify myself as an athletic person. As an athlete. And part of me was dormant during that time. But there’s literally nothing he could say or do to encourage me to go do that thing. It had to come from within me. But I also think that when you're a Rebel who is extremely driven and motivated in a lot of ways, I don’t know that it matters quite as much. I think it’s probably frustrating, because you’re like; “I wish there was some way that I could motivate you to do this thing.” But the reality is it’s not that I’m an unmotivated, undriven person. It’s just, when I choose to prioritize different things, that is my choice and I am firm in my choices. My choices are extremely thoughtful and that’s how it is. So I think that’s part of it, too. Just respecting that decision.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yes. And then, I think there is one other component. Which is really uncomfortable for Obligers or Upholders. You have to let a Rebel experience consequence for their decisions.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} Which, frustratingly, sometimes the consequences work out in your favor, which is really annoying.

Diane Sanfilippo: Work out in the Rebel’s favor.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, yeah. But you just have to let those chips fall where they may. So I’ve gotten really good, I think, in times when there’s tension in my brain about certain things that are happening around the house. Just to take a minute, breathe through it. Let the chips fall where they may, and let the consequences fall where they may. Because ultimately, that’s what a Rebel is going to respond to.

Diane Sanfilippo: I think my tolerance for consequences that are difficult is higher than many.

Dr. Scott Mills: I agree.

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: And I’m ok with that. {laughing}

11. Making the other laugh [41:03]

Diane Sanfilippo: OK. “Your favorite way to make each other laugh. Or your favorite way the other makes you laugh, if that makes sense.”

Dr. Scott Mills: Ok. I’ll go first. Wait, so favorite ways to make each other. So I make you laugh. My favorite way to make you laugh. We both have a goofy sense of humor. So I like to just randomly dance.

Diane Sanfilippo: Goofy dancing is definitely.

Dr. Scott Mills: Goofy dancing I think is probably the best way. And then you are actually kind of the same. Goofy dancing, yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. Goofy dancing. Goofy, not good dancing, around the kitchen especially. Especially if one person is not looking. Like if Scott is trying to look at his phone and do something, I just dance very weirdly.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} It’s like all he can do to try and be straight faced and not look. Yeah.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah, that’s a two for one right there. And actually, that’s one of my first memories of us. Hanging out at my house in Pittsburg.

Diane Sanfilippo: Teeny tiny kitchen.

Dr. Scott Mills: When we were dancing in a tiny, tiny kitchen. And we would be trying to make something on the little apartment tiny stove.

Diane Sanfilippo: Tiny stove.

Dr. Scott Mills: Bumping into each other, and just laughing about the tiny kitchen and whatever. Silly music or something.

Diane Sanfilippo: Also, inside jokes. Like little.

Dr. Scott Mills: Oh yeah. Like quotables.

Diane Sanfilippo: As we’re falling asleep, a little inside joke. That’s just like.

Dr. Scott Mills: Or quoting Elf. Or other movies we’ve seen together a lot.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

12. Temptations and treats [42.37]

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok.

Dr. Scott Mills: I got one here. “So what cheat food does Scott eat that tempts Diane, and vice-versa.” So you take that one first.

Diane Sanfilippo: Mmm. What tempts me? I mean, I’m not that great at avoiding some gluten free toast. If he’s making toast, I’m like, “give me the toast. I want a piece of toast also.” I mean, much like we don’t like the word hacks, I think we probably both don’t like the word cheat. But I understand…

Dr. Scott Mills: The sentiment.

Diane Sanfilippo: The sentiment, yes. I don’t think there’s anything vice-versa. Because he can eat all the things.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: See; you don’t suffer consequences for that. So take that!

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: Take that.

Dr. Scott Mills: I would say sweet things, like most people. I guess maybe not everybody has a sweet tooth. But yeah. I mean.

Diane Sanfilippo: Like when you're not; so if you were doing your plan and I was eating something sweet, that really gets you kind of annoyed that I’m eating that.

Dr. Scott Mills: Sure. Yeah. Doesn’t happen that often, but yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: No.

Dr. Scott Mills: There was another one. “What are you most likely to steal off of your partners plate?” I already answered that. French fries. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: French fries. Like Souvla fries.

Dr. Scott Mills: Like she’s; oh, just one more. One more Souvla fry for me.

Diane Sanfilippo: Not usually Souvla, because we usually get and order something that we share. But if we go to Rome or something like that and I don’t order fries, I literally will take 5 to 10 just individual fries. I want a taste, I don’t want the whole thing.

Dr. Scott Mills: French fries.

Diane Sanfilippo: And I don’t want to do a whole order, because then the whole thing is there.

Dr. Scott Mills: That is the answer to that question. It’s always French fries.

Diane Sanfilippo: It should be the answer for everyone on that question.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing}

13. Biggest pet peeve about the other [44:25]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright. “What’s your biggest pet peeve about each other?”

Dr. Scott Mills: I am…

Diane Sanfilippo: I feel like we should do this newlywed game style where it’s like; what do you think my biggest pet peeve is.

Dr. Scott Mills: Oh yeah. That’s actually good.

Diane Sanfilippo: What do I think your biggest pet peeve is. You know what I mean.

Dr. Scott Mills: You know mine.

Diane Sanfilippo: That I’m messy?

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: I would have guessed. It’s my own pet peeve about myself, too.

Dr. Scott Mills: Ah.

Diane Sanfilippo: I wish I was neater. I’m trying. I’m really working on it. Have you noticed?

Dr. Scott Mills: I have noticed. You're doing better. I am fairly generally; I’m fastidious. Is that the right word? {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: He’s pretty neat.

Dr. Scott Mills: I like things neat, yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: What would you say is my pet peeve about you?

Dr. Scott Mills: Something like, being loud. Something around being loud.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} I don’t even know.

Diane Sanfilippo: Just one. Should I just say one? {laughing}

Dr. Scott Mills: Just say one, yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: I don’t know if this is really fair. But it is what it is. I think just the fact that you have early shifts.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: So that there’s an alarm, ever. Because I really cherish the fact that I don’t wake up to an alarm. So when two to three days a week.

Dr. Scott Mills: Two. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: We wake up to his alarm, it’s really annoying. But you’ve gotten so much better at leaving the room very quietly.

Dr. Scott Mills: Stealth.

Diane Sanfilippo: And being really, really quiet. Because noise in the morning wakes me up. And my sleep has been so much better because that hasn’t been disturbed. So thanks honey.

Dr. Scott Mills: You're welcome.

Diane Sanfilippo: I also find it really annoying that he just doesn’t close the doors to his closet.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: Because I’m like; it’s so simple to just cover. You know what it is; it’s visually overwhelming for me that there’s so many things that are then visible in the room.

Dr. Scott Mills: You are a conundrum.

Diane Sanfilippo: I know it’s weird. But if I could just close a door on piles of stuff that’s mine, I would just close the door. And they’re just there. Why are the doors open all the time? I think he just does it to annoy me.

Dr. Scott Mills: No, I actually don’t even think about that one. I’ll work on that.

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh god. Well I’ll just keep closing them. I don’t care, but I’m going to keep closing them.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs}

14. Admire the most in each other [46:39]

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. “What quality do you wish you had and admire most in one another?”

Dr. Scott Mills: I really respect and admire your ability to say what you mean. And mean what you say.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Dr. Scott Mills: You have a strength of character that I think a lot of people admire, and I am one of those people.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well thanks honey. That’s so nice. I don’t know where to start. So, well first of all I’ve said this many times. I do actually, because I know that my personality can be so difficult, I admire this in everyone who is close to me. I very much admire the ability to be even keeled and strong with my personality. It’s something I talk about with Liz, as well. Anybody who is really close to me. And I admire that you're willing to have conversations that are difficult and uncomfortable. Because I know that comes pretty easily for me. I’m pretty confrontational, but not because I want to argue. Because I want to get to a place of understanding from both sides. As everyone does, I want to be heard and understood. And I think that it’s extremely admirable when somebody will align with a perhaps difficult personality. And then make me not feel so difficult. So I admire that. I don’t know what that is. But that, whatever that quality is. It’s something that I admire very much.

Dr. Scott Mills: Thanks hun.

Liz Wolfe: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Vital Choice wild seafood and organics. The leading source of delicious, sustainably sourced wild seafood and a certified B corporation. Spring has sprung, and it’s time to put a spring in your step with powerful, paleo-friendly fare. Like omega-3 rich wild seafood and mouthwatering grass-fed meats. For good health and taste on the go, grab some of their fabulous canned fish and healthy high protein snacks, like a tin of sardines (perfectly pocket-sized) and salmon or bison jerky. They’ve got seriously amazing paleo-friendly wild salmon, fish, and shellfish; plus salmon burgers, dogs, and bacon, grass-fed meats and organic bone broths. Check it all out at

15. What you missed on Instagram [49:22]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright, so now we’re going to do a little segment called, “What you missed on Instagram.”

Dr. Scott Mills: I feel like we need; I need to get some overlay music. Dun-dun-dun! What you missed on Instagram.

Diane Sanfilippo: So what have folks missed if they haven’t been following you recently on Instagram at Full Body Fix.

Dr. Scott Mills: Full Body Fix. I put up usually two videos per week. And I alternate between general fitness fun. So I referenced this earlier in the episode, but I put up a clip of some of the gymnastics stuff that I was doing with Tonya at the AcroSports Center. So if you want to see the example of the kind of movement I was doing then.

And then I usually put up some sort of corrective exercise video. They’re usually short clips of longer videos that are usually in my program, at That’s the pay for one. Or videos that I upload onto YouTube. So this week I put one up about lower leg mobility, which was just like three quick ways to effectively loosen up your calf, soleus, and Achilles. So that’s the kind of stuff I do on Instagram, from the video side of things. How about you? What have we been missing on Instagram at Diane Sanfilippo.

Diane Sanfilippo: What’s going down in the DMs is what everyone’s been missing.

Dr. Scott Mills: Dude. What’s going on {laughs}.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, actually most of you can catch up on it if you go to the highlights and watch the Rant highlight, which you may have seen some of that already. Because it’s been there for a little while. There was a beginning portion of it, and I’m continuing it. I think it might change the name of it at some point.

Just an ongoing conversation about people being responsible and taking responsibility for what they’re saying. And it’s not about me not wanting people to disagree on things. Because somebody commented to that effect. Like, “So then I can’t disagree with you.” I’m like; first of all, I’m not sure where the motivation is to scroll through something on Instagram and just comment about a disagreement, because I just would never do that. it doesn’t occur to me that I need to air my disagreement to somebody, because they don’t care.

Dr. Scott Mills: But that’s not the point, either.

Diane Sanfilippo: But that’s not the point. The point is, I have seen a lot of folks not truly understand the consequence of the things that they say or the questions that they ask. So on one hand, sometimes people asking questions that essentially, asking a question means that you want someone’s attention. And if it’s a question that you really could answer for yourself, I think it’s just not the right question to be asking. And I’ve been turning that around on people and letting them know that that’s something that they could figure out for themselves. And that makes a lot of people really uncomfortable.

And the other side that I’ve been talking about, too. Honestly, like we’ve talked about on this episode. Speaking your mind and creating boundaries. And I have to create a lot of boundaries. And this is something that not a lot of folks understand. I’ll tell you what; every single friend and colleague that I have is always telling me how they love and agree with the things that I’m saying. Not naming names, but it’s just a matter of; not everybody wants to have this conversation. That sometimes folks who follow others on Instagram don’t understand what it’s like to have a lot of people looking at what you're doing and then deciding that it’s their place to criticize and pass judgement.

I think it’s part of what we sign up for, in a sense, when we put ourselves out there. However, it doesn’t mean that folks can say things and then they’re not getting to hear back from me on their opinion. If you want to come air your negative opinion, I have every right to also hand it to you when I think you're saying something totally out of line. Or when somebody directly messages me in a cowardly way, who doesn’t want to comment publicly on something I’ve shared publicly.

So, that’s what’s been happening on Instagram. And I’ll tell you what. I have a lot of friends who are also like; “Whoa girl. I don’t know how you do that. I would not be saying that.” Like, I’m scared for you. I am not scared. Because 99.9% of people who get their panties in a bunch over something that I’m talking about and maybe storm off and say they’re not following anymore, or just get mad or upset. They come back. And they, I don’t know; days, weeks, months later. I’ve had folks come back and say; you know what. I see what you were talking about now. I understand it, and I see it differently. And I was either going through a hard time, or I wasn’t willing to examine that. or this is how I was brought up. I mean, honestly, I can’t even name for you all the things that have come up as reasons why somebody says they felt the need to spew whatever negativity it was. Or criticism, or judgement, or what have you.

But, inevitably, it causes a lot of self-reflection. And I’m like; that is what I’m here for. Maybe you started following for the food. But I’ll tell you what; this is what I think is more meaningful when folks have a change in their perspective on life and how we all conduce ourselves. Whether or not we’re in the exact same room with a person.

So any who. I know this makes a lot of people uncomfortable. And I’m ok with that, because we can’t change if we don’t go through something a little bit challenging.

Dr. Scott Mills: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: And that is who I am.

Dr. Scott Mills: Literally, the definition of your enneagram 8, is The Challenger.

Diane Sanfilippo: The Challenger. It’s part of who I am. So it doesn’t upset me. I’m not pissed. If I have a rant, it’s honestly because I’ve got a little more energy to talk about something.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} That is true.

Diane Sanfilippo: But it seems very ranty to people. I hope everybody knows, I’m not over here upset about it. I’m totally fine. I’m not upset. I’m just serving it up.

Dr. Scott Mills: And I will say; let me say, from a perspective of somebody who gets to see you a lot. Which is that this is not only needed in the world. People like you who have the strength of character, as I’ve already said to help people move through their junk and challenge them on their perspectives. The reasons behind they do things. Their motivations. It’s like, a mirror. Right? You're holding up a mirror to actions. A little JT.

Diane Sanfilippo: Cue the JT.

Dr. Scott Mills: {laughs} And, you are also somebody, for the folks who are like; “You don’t take negative feedback.” You take feedback from people you love, know, and trust closely. And I’ve seen you take feedback from those people, make different decisions, and move forward positively. So anyway, I’ll just throw that in there.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. It’s a different thing, too. Because it’s not the same flow of information when I share something and then someone comes at me with their feedback. I don’t know, it’s a different; I don’t know how to explain it.

Dr. Scott Mills: There’s a way different dynamic when you're dealing with somebody you have a personal relationship with versus an internet relationship.

Diane Sanfilippo: But I don’t want people to think that there’s no open room for dialogue. When I share something; it’s not an open invitation for criticism and judgement.

Dr. Scott Mills: OH yeah, I see what you're saying.

Diane Sanfilippo: Just because it’s there publicly. Basically, liken it to; something is on the television that you don’t like. You don’t call up the actor or go to the Instagram and say, “I didn’t like this episode.” You just turn it off. So there’s just a different flow of communication. And I’m fine to have a conversation with people. I’m just not ok for that conversation to start out with a spew of negativity and this, “I’m entitled to criticize you.” Actually, if you want to think that, ok. I’m also entitled to have this conversation back with you.

I’m speaking with my hands.

Dr. Scott Mills: Stop talking with your hands! {laughs} She’s hitting the vocal shield.

Diane Sanfilippo: I’m hitting the shield. Ok so that episode is now extremely long. But there’s that. That’s it for this week. You find me, Diane, at You can find my husband, Scott, at And also at Full Body Fix over on Instagram. Join our email lists for free goodies and updates you don’t find anywhere else on our websites or on the podcast. While you’re on the internet, please leave us an iTunes review. We’ll see you next week.

Comments 2

    1. Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *