Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Balanced Bites Podcast | Anticipated Stress

Podcast Episode #308: Anticipated Stress

Diane Sanfilippo Featured, Paleo and Primal, Podcast Episodes 8 Comments

Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Balanced Bites Podcast | Anticipated StressTopics

  1. News and updates from Diane & Liz [2:23]
  2. What we ate so far today [7:08]
  3. Planning and preparing for stress [14:00]
  4. Know yourself [23:09]
  5. Self-love tips [31:54]


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Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Balanced Bites Podcast | Anticipated Stress Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Balanced Bites Podcast | Anticipated Stress Diane Sanfilippo & Liz Wolfe | Balanced Bites Podcast | Anticipated Stress

You’re listening to the Balanced Bites podcast episode 308.

Diane Sanfilippo: Welcome to the Balanced Bites podcast. I’m Diane; a certified nutrition consultant, and the New York Times bestselling author of Practical Paleo and The 21-Day Sugar Detox. I live in San Francisco with my husband and fur kids.

Liz Wolfe: I’m Liz; a nutritional therapy practitioner, and author of the Wall Street Journal best-seller Eat the Yolks; The Purely Primal Skincare Guide; and the online program Baby Making and Beyond. I live on a farm in the mystical land of the Midwest, outside of Kansas City.

We’re the co-creators of the Balanced Bites Master Class, and we’ve been bringing you this award-winning podcast for nearly 6 years. We’re here to share our take on modern paleo living, answer your questions, and chat with leading health and wellness experts. Enjoy this week’s episode, and submit your questions at http://blog.balancedbites.com or watch the Balanced Bites podcast Instagram account for our weekly calls for questions. You can ask us anything in the comments.

Remember our disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only, and are not to be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Before we get started, let’s hear from one of our sponsors.

Liz Wolfe: This episode of the Balanced Bites podcast is sponsored by our friends at Primally Pure Skincare. Primally Pure makes 100% natural and nontoxic skincare products that support radiant skin, a healthy body, and a happy self. They use ingredients like tallow from grass-fed cows; organic and fair trade coconut oil, and organic oils, herbs, and extracts to formulate effective products that also smell amazing and look beautiful sitting on your bathroom counter. At www.primallypure.com, you’ll find their bestselling natural deodorant that actually works; face mists made from locally sourced and organic rose and orange blossom hydrosols, and their brand new baby line. You’ll also find Diane’s favorite Primally Pure product, dry shampoo, and Liz’s favorite, that’s me, the Everything Spray with magnesium. As a special bonus for you, Primally Pure is offering a free lip balm with your first purchase of one item or more. Simply add a lip balm to your cart along with any one item, and use the code “balancedbites”, one word no caps, during checkout to receive one of their lip balms for free with your order. Head to www.primallypure.com and check out their range of safe and effective all natural skincare products.

1. News and updates from Diane & Liz [2:23]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. Hi Diane; how are you?

Diane Sanfilippo: What’s up?

Liz Wolfe: What’s up?

Diane Sanfilippo: I’m good.

Liz Wolfe: What’s happening in your world right now?

Diane Sanfilippo: Well. I’m in the thick of some book editing. I think folks probably heard me announce several episodes ago that I’ve got a new book coming out. Every time I say that, I never think I’m going to say it again. And then I have these ideas, and so things happen again. But, January 2 is the release date that’s set for 21-Day Sugar Detox Daily Guide. This whole idea for this book actually came up probably late 2015, I think. Or maybe it was mid last year. I can’t remember exactly when.

But we came up with this idea. And it was going to be something we were going to roll out only online. And then it just seemed like it would be such a great thing to put into a printed book. So this monster got bigger. So I’m working on things now. Over the summer. Here we go. But it’s a good time to talk about today’s topic. So being in the thick of it. It’s a good episode to be talking about stress, that’s for sure. What’s up with you?

Liz Wolfe: Same old. Same old. Farm. Baby. Work. Life. All of it. Just trying to survive and remember to sleep instead of watching Real Housewives after the kid goes to bed.

Diane Sanfilippo: No. You need to watch Real Housewives so that we can stay updated.

Liz Wolfe: I know.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. You need to. But didn’t you recently do a mom fun thing? {laughs} I don’t know what to call it.

Liz Wolfe: A mom fun thing?

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah, you posted something on Instagram. And it was like a mom’s night out thing.

Liz Wolfe: Ooohhh! Yes.

Diane Sanfilippo: Tell me about that.

Liz Wolfe: This is going to be several months out date, I think, when this episode airs. But I went to I Mom So Hard. #IMomSoHard. Which is this; they’re comedians. Two women; two moms with kids. And I first discovered them on Facebook. They have some really hilarious videos. And I feel like when I started following them, they had like 15,000 followers. And 6 months later, they’ve got millions upon millions and are on a comedy tour. And I’m just like wow. I need to be funnier, apparently. And maybe my career would take off a little faster, too.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: But they’re super funny. So I wanted to see them live. And I went with; we were such a cliché. It was just a bunch of moms all going out to laugh with other moms about mom stuff. But I loved it. It was amazing. It was in downtown Kansas City. And the entire; it was a restaurant called the YardHouse. And it’s really big. And the entire YardHouse was just full of women. And we were all going to the same thing. We were all having some cocktails. I kept saying, “I just want to smile and wave at everybody. Because we’re all here. We’re all getting a break. And it’s just so exciting.”

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: I just felt like we were all best friends. And I actually did wave to a couple of people. I couldn’t keep it from happening. Not wave. I said hi to a couple of people that I did not know from anybody when we actually went to the venue at the Midland. If I came within a few inches of somebody and we made eye contact, it was “Hi!” {laughs} Hi.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} I am very happy to be here!

Liz Wolfe: {laughs} Yes, exactly. But I did that. And it was fun. And a good time.

Diane Sanfilippo: I love it. I’m currently looking at their tour schedule. Holy aggressive.

Liz Wolfe: No kidding.

Diane Sanfilippo: Wow. It’s intense.

Liz Wolfe: Well, it’s summer break tour. They have to cover all of it before the kids go back to school.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That’s my best Gordon Ramsey. “Wow, wow, wow.” Anyway. {laughs} Interesting.

You had mentioned something about them being comedians, and I think I saw them in some kind of commercial while I was half watching something on maybe Xfinity, Bravo, or E. I don’t know what. So yeah. Out of the corner of my eye I just remember thinking, “Isn’t that those moms?” Anyway. So interesting. But cool. I’m glad that you went. That sounds really fun.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah, it was a good time.

Diane Sanfilippo: I mean, for moms. {laughing} It sounds really fun for moms.

Liz Wolfe: {laughs}

2. What we ate so far today [7:08]

Diane Sanfilippo: Alright. So we are trying out a fun new segment. I mean, I think it will be fun for you guys. I’m not sure how much fun it will be for Liz. It’s neither here nor there to me, because I feel like I tell you guys what I’m eating all day, every day, ad nauseum, on Instagram. But, today’s segment for the first part of our show here is going to be what we ate so far today. So, Liz, why don’t you tell me what you ate so far today?

Liz Wolfe: I hate when you make me remember stuff from the recent past.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Dietary recall is not your strong suit. {laughing}

Liz Wolfe: No. It’s not anybody’s strong suit, and that is the problem with the state of nutrition in the mainstream today.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} Yes. Yes. It’s what time where are you right now?

Liz Wolfe: It’s 6:30.

Diane Sanfilippo: OK. There you go.

Liz Wolfe: But I haven’t eaten dinner yet. So I should be able to do this, because I only have to think of like two things. I had eggs for breakfast. I think a Kind bar slipped in there somewhere. I know. Kind bar. Whatever. It’s fine.

Diane Sanfilippo: Eggs how? We need more information than that, Liz. Like, plain? Scrambled? What were they cooked in? Details woman.

Liz Wolfe: Ok. Scrambled eggs cooked in ghee, and bacon. We had some bacon with those.

Diane Sanfilippo: How many? I want to know how many eggs.

Liz Wolfe: Three. Well, six. We made; the way it’s working now is my kid doesn’t want to eat healthy food unless she thinks she’s stealing it from our plates. So we just made a big bowl of scrambled eggs, and we were all kind of eating out of that. So there were six of them.

Diane Sanfilippo: Gotcha.

Liz Wolfe: We managed to finish it. There was some bacon there too. Lunch I think was turkey and; see I’m bad. I’ve said before. I’m not great about the eating sometimes. I literally can’t think of what else I ate today. I’ll eat a really good dinner. And I’ll consider that a victory.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} This isn’t a “What I ate” confessional or anything.

Liz Wolfe: {laughing}

Diane Sanfilippo: We don’t need to, “I promise I’ll eat vegetables later!”

Liz Wolfe: I will, I will! I promise.

Diane Sanfilippo: We just want to know what you had.

Liz Wolfe: What did you eat so far today?

Diane Sanfilippo: Actually I wrote some things down, and I actually almost forgot what I had in here. Hold on, I’m making some notes. So the first thing I ate, I had some coffee and a PhatFudge packet. My new thing lately is I wake up early. Well, this part is not new. That I’m starving when I wake up. I am starving when I wake up. It’s just rough. But packet of PhatFudge with some cold brew. And then I work, and I write, and I edit, or whatever I’m doing. And then a couple of hours later I had some breakfast. Which was a couple of ounces of leftover steak, two fried eggs. There was also a small amount of oven fries leftover from whatever Scott made. And I’m trying to think what else went on that plate. I don’t think I put some sauerkraut on there. There was definitely ketchup.

And then I had some SeaSnax at some point after that. And then I had Vital Choice tuna I made into a tuna melt on some grain-free tortillas and some sheep milk cheese on top with my BB spices mixed in. And some avocado oil mayo mixed in. And that was my lunch. And that’s all I’ve had so far I think. No, I also had; see, I eat a lot! I’m like a house over here! I had some mango and strawberries. And one of those cold chaser shots.

But I will say, to those of you listening, weeks later. I’m not still sick, we just happened to record two episodes at the same time, back to back. So if you're like, “She’s still sick!” No. It’s same day as last time we recorded {laughs}. There’s the secret. It’s out. But those are things I ate today. It’s embarrassingly a lot, actually.

Liz Wolfe: Better embarrassingly a lot than embarrassingly, I ate a Kind bar and eggs, I think.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs} I think.

Liz Wolfe: Not cool.

Diane Sanfilippo: But that’s why we love you. It’s real. But that’s, you know, that’s it.

Liz Wolfe: I’m starting to embrace the realness, because I’m starting to realize that people actually need that in their lives a little bit more. I really felt like all people wanted was the perfect successful mom stuff, and I have so little of that. It’s either be real or disappear. {laughs}

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, I think also, a big point that I think is important to make with what you just said about what you ate. Is that you're not also seeking guidance from someone on your nutrition to change something about your life. It’s like; that’s what I ate. And I’m doing this stuff to work on my anxiety and whatever, but I’m not putting my nutrition plan or diet under a microscope right now. You know?

Liz Wolfe: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: It’s just, I’m eating. I’m nourishing myself the best I can. I feel fine. If I wasn’t feeling fine, I would realize maybe there’s something I could do. But if I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m not going to tell myself I’m not eating well just because intellectually I know more vegetables are “good for me.” Yeah, they’re good for us. But that’s not the point to stress yourself out about that all the time.

Liz Wolfe: Well, and doing that would completely jackhammer my road back to fine. The last thing I need is more self-judgement than I have already put on myself the last two years.

Diane Sanfilippo: Exactly. Exactly. 100%. That’s the point that I think. We’ll have another episode on that, I think. And I don’t judge it too. Even joking, like, “Oh, I could eat more vegetables.” I could too. What did I eat? SeaSnax today for some vegetables. I really didn’t have many yet. But some days, it’s a veggie party. So it’s all good.

Diane Sanfilippo: Today’s podcast, and my lunch, is sponsored by Vital Choice seafood and organics. Purveyor of premium sustainably sourced seafood and a certified B corporation. Vital choice offers a wide range of fish, shellfish, humanely raised meat, protein rich bone broths, and paleo friendly snacks. Like organic dark chocolate, super antioxidant trail mix, and bison jerky. As the days get longer and the grilling season heats up, www.vitalchoice.com is your source for real food.

3. Planning and preparing for stress [14:00]

Diane Sanfilippo: Ok. Today we’re talking about stress. And I know we’ve talked a lot about stress lately, and in the past. But this is a good topic. We love to talk about it from a lot of different angles. Today we’re going to talk about how you can handle anticipated stress. The stress you know is coming. Whether it’s due to work, family, health, holidays, etc.

We’ve talked about this in some previous episodes. We did episodes 269 and 270 was sort of a two-part series on stress. So if you guys haven’t checked those out yet, those are some other episodes to maybe checkout.

But Liz, why don’t you talk a little bit about stress that you're planning and preparing for right now. And what are some things you're doing to just kind of head it off as best you can.

Liz Wolfe: Alright. So, my life now. I’m preparing for my husband to do some really intensive job training for a couple of months. And I’ve also lost my childcare, and it’s hard to find good childcare where we live. Like, reliable, and the type of flexible childcare that we need. So I’m pretty much about to become, essentially, a single parent full time stay at home mom with a job and deadlines that could easily also be fulltime work. And the farm, of course. And it’s hard. So I’m trying to do some of the stuff like get the house in a situation that I can handle it. I don’t want to jump into this phase of life with a huge mess. I’m trying to do some meal planning. I’m trying to do all of that stuff. Just to give myself a little bit of a reference point, so I’m not completely floating down the river without a lifejacket.

But what I’m also trying to do now, is; gosh. It sounds so trite, and there are a million different ways to say this. And I can’t remember what this is from. But there’s a movie or something. Or there’s a TV show. And the quote is, “Embrace the suck.” {laughs} It’s going to suck. And the thing is, I think a lot of our emotional pain and a lot of what keeps us afraid and stressed and overwhelmed is not so much what’s happening in our lives. It’s more the fear; the anticipatory fear of what’s about to happen. And then once you're in it, it’s this mad scramble. This feeling that you have to get out of this as quickly as possible.

And a lot of that pertains more to emotional work; bad feelings. That type of thing. Some of the stuff that I’m working through with my therapist is just being able to say, “This is hard. And that’s fine.” I think a lot of anxiety that we have around these things that really becomes crippling is when we feel like, “This is wrong. This feeling is wrong and it has to be over as soon as possible. And I’m going to feel terrified and fearful and wrong about this feeling until this feeling comes to an end.” For some of us, we have a timeline that we can look forward to. “This is over in 30 days.” Ok. He’s going to be back to normal schedule in 60 days. And you can look forward to that, and that’s cool.

Other things that I think tend to be a little bit harder is when you are in emotional pain, or personal turmoil, and you don’t see an end to it. But yet the feeling is kind of the same. You're still feeling wrong and scared about the state that you are in. So what I’m really trying to do is just allow those feelings. And I think; I think Brené Brown talks about this a little bit. I’m still trying to wrap my head around some of her work, and some of the things that she says. Because it’s so deep and complex. I’m sure she would argue that it’s actually really simple. But for me, I’m trying to wrap my head around it.

One of the things that she talks about a ton is; she talks about shame. But she talks a lot about vulnerability. And vulnerability defined as being able to be in that space where it’s hard, and it hurts. Rather than this mad dash to try and not feel any of that, and to get out of it as quickly as possible. So what I’m just trying to prepare myself for. I’m not sure giving myself grace is the right phrase. I’ve used that phrase a lot. But just being in it, and not being so afraid of those feelings of difficulty. And just trying to have that as part of my human experience. As much as I expect joy and happiness, and all of that.

I think the Brené Brown quote is, “You cannot selectively numb.” So if I want the good and the joy, and the happiness, I also have to feel the difficulty and know that it’s not, by definition, bad. It just is. And what can I learn from it.

Diane Sanfilippo: Can you report back to your therapist how much I love her the next time you go?

Liz Wolfe: She is freaking amazing.

Diane Sanfilippo: I really feel like the way that you're talking right now is; it’s like a 180 from where your headspace was, I don’t know how long ago.

Liz Wolfe: Well, probably for the last two years, at least. And before that it was still my tendency.

Diane Sanfilippo: Yeah.

Liz Wolfe: But having a kid just intensified things to the point that I had to start dealing with that stuff I wanted to be functional. Literally, physically functional. It started to affect me physically in a way that I never could have anticipated. So yeah. It’s intense. But this therapist is amazing. I don’t even think I want to tell anybody who she is, because I want all of her free sessions.

Diane Sanfilippo: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: I need all of it. But she’s also, very much, from the very beginning. It’s like, baby bird fly. It’s like, you're not going to be coming to me every single week, saving up all your BS and all your crap to dump on me. That’s not what this is about. This is about shifting your consciousness. Getting some tools. And whatnot. And I’m not sure she knows that I’m literally telling everyone what we talk about {laughs}. But I’m good with it.

Diane Sanfilippo: No, you're not. You're not. You're not actually talking about what you talk about. You're just speaking differently about your life. Which is very reflective of those conversations. And I think we all go through these things in different ways. And I think dealing with stress, having some stressful period of our lives. When I had gone through some breakups that hit me really, really hard. And I was going to some therapy for a short period of time. And then figuring it out, like you said, a little more on my own. And since then, what I do. Which I think this is part of preparing for stress. Even if you don’t know that one’s coming up. All of these quizzes about yourself, and self-awareness. Knowing your personality really well so that you don’t fight it, and you just try and go with it. When you know yourself better, you can do better. And it’s not always about better to do something that’s expected. It’s just so that you can say, “This is the best I can do, and that’s ok.”

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. And not even always.

Diane Sanfilippo: One practical thing you're doing.

Liz Wolfe: Sorry, go ahead.

Diane Sanfilippo: Oh, go ahead. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: I just wanted to throw in there, that it’s not even all the time. I’m not fixed. It’s not like, I’m all better now. It’s just tools. And hopefully I remember to call upon them, versus not ever even knowing I had them in the toolbox in the first place. It’s just being in that process. I'm going to have bad days. I’ going to have days where I’m like, “Get me out of these bad feelings, now.” And I’m going to forget all of these tools. But hopefully, I rediscover them, you know.

Diane Sanfilippo: Totally. So one thing you are doing right now is with me, recording podcasts, even further ahead than we normally would. And that’s a practical step. We know this podcast happens every week. And there have been periods of time when you knew that you were going to need time away from it. So then I’m recording some more interviews. And it just balances out really well. Interviews don’t work well when there are three people on them, anyway. So it gives us the opportunity to not even have the conversation, like, “Who is going to interview this person?” It’s just, “OK. You want to take a break for a little bit because you’ve got stuff going on. And vice-versa.” I’ve got book editing coming up more intensely over the summer. And you’ve got this period of time where you're not going to have as much help. So we’ve agreed, here’s how we’re going to balance that.

I think you and I have conversations about the work we’re doing in a small way, the way we both have conversations with our spouse, or our family, about life things. We have to talk about it and have conversations, and then move forward from there with agreements.

4. Know yourself [23:09]

Diane Sanfilippo: I think one big thing, too, to consider with all of this. With stress, and the way that we handle it and the way that we prepare ourselves. And the thing you mentioned about embracing the suck, or just feeling the feelings and not trying to be different with them. That’s something that happens to me a lot with book editing. It is the biggest stress I go through, aside from feelings of grief and loss for me. The only thing that feels emotionally, and then physically, worse than this process for me. Because it is so hard and I care so much about the work that I’m doing. It’s loss. Whether it’s a death of a family member or friend. Or the loss of a relationship. Those things, for me, hit me really, really hard. The hardest. And then second from there is just work that I feel is part of my life’s work. Work I feel is really important that I want to do a really good job on, and that I care a lot about. And that’s how I feel about all the books, and the programs, and all of that.

So I think part of not fighting it is how other people deal with it. And one thing I’ve definitely noticed over the years. And I think you guys can all probably relate to this. Is even when or if you do get to a place where you're ok with yourself not being happy-go-lucky, Pollyanna, rose-tinted world the entire time you're in the middle of something stressful, the bigger thing is people around you not being able to handle the fact that your mood might not be what they want or expect at that moment.

And I definitely have had this experience. Like, just with different family members. I don’t want to point fingers at anyone in particular. But with friends, I could kind of withdraw for a few months and just not interact. Because I know it’s not a good time for me. As much as possible. With family, there have been times where I can’t not interact. And I’ve had to basically say, “It’s not a good time. I’m in the middle of editing. And I know it seems like everyone has to eat, can’t we go do dinner or whatever. But it’s not that. It’s that while I’m there, I’m thinking about this, and I’m stressed about this. And it is more than eating. Because eating takes me 20 minutes. And going out to eat takes 2 hours.”

You know. So it’s all of these different things that I think other people have expectations of us. And when we’re in a stressful time, we need to have a lot of clear boundaries. And I think the more we’re self-aware and go through these stressful times, and are able to say to ourselves; “Here’s how I know I handle stress, and here’s the space I need. Or here’s the support I need.” I think we can do a better job, just in our own way of consistently communicating that to those around us. And that’s the best we can do. The best we can do is be honest and clear in our communication with those around us. What they choose to do with that; if they choose to ignore it or not listen, then if I respond in a certain way, it’s like, “I actually did tell you that I can’t do this.”

So here’s something that came up. I’ve got; final edits will be happening on this book, probably through September. And my mom was asking when can we come visit. And I said, realistically, final edits will probably be happening through the end of September. Not until at least mid-October. Maybe even November. And the conversation was, “And don’t ask again, because that’s not going to change. So you asking again in another few weeks because you are antsy about wanting to book a flight is not going to change my response. It’s just going to stress me out more and make me feel like you're anxious and nervous and what have you.”

And I can have these very candid conversations with my mother, because I’m almost 40 and I’ve had these conversations with her for a long time. But we’re in a place now where I can say that to her. And I can create the boundary. And for me, that’s part of what I do to prepare for the stress. Is to create the boundaries with other people. Because how I deal with the logistics of getting the work done is part of it. But really, it’s also how we deal with our relationships and dealing with other people and their expectations of us.

So, this also bleeds into what I do with my team where I say, “Some of our one on one touch base meetings are probably going to slip for the next couple of months. It’s not personal to anyone.” But if I take my focus and attention off of what I’m working on with editing, my focus and attention is lost for hours. The way that my brain works, I’ve figured it out now. Five books in. I just know how my brain works. I can’t jump from one thing to another, and talk to you for 30 minutes, and then go write for two hours or edit for two hours or whatever I’m doing. I have to have such huge blocks of time without something on my calendar.

So, if we try to fight how we are, and we fight our nature, then we’re never really going to learn from our experiences, and who we are, and how we operate. And I think we just have to do the best we can to pay attention to who we are and how we operate. So we can set ourselves up for success as best we can. And know that not everyone operates the same way. I think it is really important whenever possible to align yourself with people who are willing to understand you in your life, and have that compassion and flexibility.

I think, Liz, that’s one of the reasons why it’s been almost 6 years that we’re doing this podcast. We give that space to each other. And we’re also not saying, my stress is bigger or more important or worse or better than yours. It’s, it’s different. Our lives are different. And we call on each other when we need to. And we also support each other without question when we need to. You know?

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. And we check in on each other too. I mean, maybe this doesn’t fall under the category of boundaries. But if you know that you're going to be in a tough time, you need to set up those really close friends of yours who you know will check on you and make sure you're still alive, but not pressure you to go out to dinner. That’s you. That’s my friend, Catrina, is amazing about that. You just have to have a couple of those people that are like, “Hey. Knock, knock. You good? Alright, cool.”

And you can tell people. “Hey, check on me here and there this month, will you?” Because I know that even though I think I need all this heads down time, every once in a while I need to interact with a human. Every once in a while I need to know that somebody cares that I’m doing alright.

Diane Sanfilippo: For sure. Same. That’s totally the same. While I’m editing, I mostly don’t want to do anything. But I’ve got friends who will ask if I want to go for a walk, and I’m like, yes. I do. And I need to. So thank you. Seriously. Like a long walk. {laughs} like a 10,000 step walk on my little Fitbit here.

But yeah, I think all of this to say; when there is expected stress coming up, we each really need to own ourselves and do what we can to prepare. Because we know that that stress is coming. Obviously, things are different when unexpected stuff pops up. But I think; like you know you're going to need to eat every day. So you're thinking ahead to; “How can I make that easier for myself.” This is not a surprise that you're going to need to eat every day and feed yourself and the kid. So it doesn’t mean that there won’t be days that are kind of sucky or difficult with it. But you know that it’s coming, so you're doing what you can now to help your future self. Right? That’s the kind of mindset.

Liz Wolfe: Yep.

Diane Sanfilippo: Well, that all sounds; hopefully you guys grab some insights from that bunch of rambling. But I think those were some good insights.

Liz Wolfe: The Balanced Bites podcast is sponsored in part by the Nutritional Therapy Association. The NTA trains and certifies nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants (including me; I’m an NTP), emphasizing bio-individuality and the range of dietary strategies that support wellness. The NTA emphasizes local, whole, properly prepared nutrient dense foods as the key to restoring balance and enhancing the body’s ability to heal. Nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants learn a wide range of tools and techniques to assess and correct nutritional imbalances. To learn lots more about the nutritional therapy program, go to http://www.NutritionalTherapy.com. There are workshop venues in the US, Canada, and Australia, so chances are you’ll be able to find a venue that works for you.

5. Self-love tips [31:54]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. So since we’re on the topic of stress, we wanted to share a quick tip. Each of us, on what we’re doing to make sure we still show ourselves a little self-love. Diane. What are you doing for yourself?

Diane Sanfilippo: So as I mentioned, my long walks. At this point, it’s been with some friends. But I’m trying to commit myself to finding some new podcasts to listen to that I can listen to for at least an hour and take a long walk. Also taking some little breaks outside, now that we have a cute little yard, and getting some vitamin D. Those are two things I’m definitely committing to for some #selflove. What about you?

Liz Wolfe: Well, this might backfire on me, I’m not sure. I’ll have to let people know how it goes. But one of the things that I’ve realized is that I sacrifice a lot of the things that make me feel good for, just because it’s not on my toddler’s schedule. So what I was thinking is I would try to just wake up and hop in the shower, just to rinse off in the morning. Maybe do a little mask. And the toddler can wait. She can hang out with me. She can read a book. She can whine. She can scream. It’s starting to sound a little less good now that I started saying that.

But basically, she can hang out while I do a few things to take care of myself in the morning, versus wake up and immediately the day is all about her. So I’m going to give that a try and see how it goes. I don’t know if it’s going to end up stressing me out more, if she’s not a fan of it, or not. But we’ll see. Because I think just hopping in the shower, doing a little mask in the morning. Maybe even taking her to a gym that’s within about 20 minutes that has childcare. Maybe I’ll even do that. Maybe I’ll drop her at the gym daycare. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do that yet. That gym also really only has Zumba classes on my schedule, which I’m not sure how I feel about. Have you ever done Zumba?

Diane Sanfilippo: I really want to see a Zumba selfie of you.

Liz Wolfe: It would be just such a nightmare. I’d be knocking people over. I’d be going left when everybody is going right.

Diane Sanfilippo: Just for the record.

Liz Wolfe: But anyway. Basically, the idea is she can hang out while I take care of myself for a few minutes.

Diane Sanfilippo: I love it. And you definitely hit on one of the things that a lot of efficiency, set up your day, what have you, experts talk about. Which is, kind of getting up and not being reactive to demands of others. Which they’re typically talking about things like email, but in this case, it’s just a little one.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah.

Diane Sanfilippo: And not just, in a you know, in a dismissive way. It’s just, you know. It’s your little one who is right there. And I think that is a really, really good idea. So I am pro that effort, for sure.

Liz Wolfe: Alright, good.

Diane Sanfilippo: To just get yourself some whatever time. Cool.

Liz Wolfe: Alright. Do we have any closing thoughts, Diane?

Diane Sanfilippo: Well I think when it comes to stress and knowing that stress is coming up, it is a lot about knowing yourself, knowing what works for you, setting yourself up for success, planning your days as you can, and setting boundaries with those around you as best you can. What about you?

Liz Wolfe: My closing thoughts are, feel your feelings. All of the feelings. That’s it for this week. You can find me, Liz, at http://realfoodliz.com/ and you can find Diane at http://dianesanfilippo.com. Join our email lists for free goodies and updates that you don’t find anywhere else on our website or on the podcast. While you’re on the internet, please leave us an iTunes review. See you next week.

Comments 8

  1. Liz- I would love to know what tools you’ve learned in therapy that you utilize when you’re having a bad day. I don’t consider myself a stressed or anxious person but I have been experiencing symptoms of physical anxiety for some time now and I’d like to add more tools to my tool box! I’m am 26 from Maine, USA.

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  2. This episode was so great I listened to it twice and I came to the realization that both of you have over time became two of my biggest role models. I started listening to BBP about 3 years ago when I was in the midst of a massive life 180. I quit drinking, quit smoking, went back to school at 30 to start a new career, began a lot of counselling, and developed many new strategies to help me turn my life around. One of those strategies was cleaning up my diet and improving my health- which is where this podcast came in to play. Over the months, and now years of listening to you two and reading what you both create and following virtually all of your advice I realize now that I don’t just value your diet and health knowledge, I’ve really come to value your life knowledge. I’m a 33 year old woman who works in a male dominated field and I don’t have very many friends who are older and wiser than me so I really appreciate it when you put out episodes like this where you talk about your lives and how you’re navigating through different stages. It helps me a lot to either validate my own feelings, help be articulate my feelings, and sometimes helps me to literally be a better person. So thank you Liz and Diane for being so open and for working so hard at all that you do.

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      Hey Lee-Anne –

      Thanks for sharing that. I appreciate this and I’m glad we’ve had this place for you and I don’t take that lightly. We really do our best to bring a balanced and ever evolving and mature (when we can!) view of what really matters in life. Glad we can be here for you each week.


  3. I loved this episode. I love when people talk about their therapist and going to therapy.
    I’m thinking “embrace the suck” should be a t-shirt, it pretty much sums up parenting.

  4. By happy ‘accident’ this was the episode I was listening to this week while commuting to work. Last evening we evacuated our Rockport, TX home with our fur babies, my (newly) widowed mother, and our grown daughter (who is moving to Dallas next week). I’m also reading about Adrenal Fatigue right now in preparation to start the February NTA NTP course. Lots of anticipated stress in life right now. Thank you for the candid peak into how you handle stress. It has helped my heart and mind for sure.

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  5. Pingback: Stress Management Tips

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